If you don't know that people living with HIV can...
..share drinks,
kiss,
share toilets...
..then you should watch this.
I'm Mercy. I'm 20.
And I was born with HIV.
HIV is always portrayed negatively,
and I'm bored of that.
What do you really know about HIV?
Just don't have sex! Yeah.
See what I mean?
Not a lot, right.
If you don't know that there are young people living with HIV
all over the UK,
then you should watch this.
There are 3,100 under-24s known to be HIV-positive in the UK.
From all races, genders and sexualities...
..HIV does not discriminate.
I'm going to meet three other young people living with HIV.
George - who'll tell us about dating.
Inappropriate images of me were posted on the internet.
So my nudes were leaked.
Is that OK? To say, "Nudes were leaked"?
who will show us that having kids is still possible.
I treat him as, like, a little miracle. I'm a mother.
And James - who's about to make a big decision.
Have you thought about coming out publicly?
I think about this all the time.
In fact, I'm thinking about it now.
If you don't think HIV stigma exists,
then you should watch this.
"Oh, my goodness. Like, what's your prognosis?"
Like I have a time and date in my phone to be like,
"Well, this is the end,"
Got the message yet?
You need to watch this.
So...I take three tablets a day.
And I go to the doctors twice a year to have a blood test.
That's about it.
It's not that exciting.
Yes, I was born with HIV,
but that doesn't define me.
Like, I like Shakespeare...Yeah!
And that's right. I'm engaged.
I'm always trying to change perceptions about HIV.
It would almost be selfish of me to just be like, "Yeah, cool,
"I'm HIV-positive."
Because I live in such a privileged position that I feel like
I have to take this, and I have to do something with it.
If we, as HIV-positive children, aren't going to talk about it...
..who can talk about it for us?
So I challenged my best friends to ask me anything they wanted
about HIV. No judgment, of course.
Wow.
Would you leave Wana to marry Prince Harry?
Wow.
You didn't answer it! No.
I was outed as HIV-positive at school.
I ate lunch in the school toilets.
Like, it was bad.
PRODUCER: You don't want to talk about it? No.
You have to stay secret and you can't talk about it,
and you don't really feel like you own your status.
So then when it came to being 18, I just thought, "Well...
"..I might as well just come out to the whole world."
And since that moment, I've been trying to tell the world
what it's really like to live with HIV.
Why do people think if I share a bottle of water with you,
I will catch it?
I have absolutely no idea.
But I also don't want to share a bottle of water with everyone.
So, let's set the record straight.
HIV is a virus that attacks your immune system.
But today's drugs can stop that from happening.
AIDS is the illness that happens if HIV is left untreated.
Come on, people! Having HIV does not mean you'll develop AIDS.
Can I get it if I touch you?
There's a lot of people in trouble if that is the case.
When people are like, "If I kissed you...
Why would you... Why would...
Why are we talking about kissing?
I don't know you. You don't know me.
No.
People say things like, "Oh, people living with HIV should all be
"quarantined and sent off to an island to live."
Look, if you want to send me to the Bahamas - great.
I'm all happy for it.
But this idea that we should all either, like, be quarantined,
or we shouldn't have children, we shouldn't have relationships,
we shouldn't be allowed to have jobs.
I just think it's absolutely ridiculous.
And these are the kind of myths
that make HIV-positive people too scared to come out.
I met James when we were about 17.
He was one of the first-ever young people I'd met living with HIV.
I wanted him to be a part of this documentary.
He wanted to be anonymous.
So I've named him James.
So, when I came out, I came out with this whole Diana Award thing.
Mm-hm. Have you thought about coming out publicly?
I think about this all the time literally, like,
it's always on my mind. I'm, like, the level of lies...
Yeah that I've probably told throughout my whole life is intense.
Yeah. It is weird feeling like the life you live is a lie.
We always talk about feeling like we were Hannah Montana. Yeah.
Doing all these crazy things and stuff, but you had to just, like...
Hide your face behind a wig.
Reasons you haven't come out - let's unpack that.
I feel like a lot of the reasons why I haven't come out is mainly
due to protecting my family cos I don't want them involved in...
any of the, like, negative stigma that I receive.
Because it sucks.
It really does suck. And, like...
And imagine getting that and you're not even HIV-positive.Yeah.
Like, eugh, what a nightmare. Like, that would honestly drive me insane.
Like, I don't want anyone to go through that. Mm-hm.
So I kind of don't come out just to protect the people around me.
Do you think you'll ever come out in the future, like, properly?
Yeah, I would. Really?
I would do it. I would honestly.
I would come out in the future.
I didn't expect that he would be like,
"Yeah. I definitely will at one point."
Yeah, I don't think I was ever like, "Yeah, I definitely will."
I think I was just like, "Well, if it happens, it happens."
So for him to be so, like, "Yeah, it's going to happen one day,"
was a shock to me.
Hmm...sounds like he's really close to coming out.
What's it like telling someone you're dating you have HIV?
When's the right time?
Erm...
I'm going to need some help answering this one.
15 days ago..
..my life quite...
..changed forever.
I was told I was HIV-positive.
The day after I posted the video,
inappropriate images of me were posted on the internet.
So my nudes were leaked.
Oh, man...
When I tell people that, they're like,
"How did you get through that?"
It didn't... I was in, like, warrior-mode. It didn't faze me.
I'd been diagnosed with HIV. Yeah.
Looking back, it's not the worst thing in the world.
But, at the time, there was nothing you could do to me.
There was absolutely nothing you could do to me
that was worse than my diagnosis.
Even I....
...had this heavy stigma around HIV.
I believed it was a death sentence.
When HIV's treated..
..it's manageable.
I can't pass it on.
I think dating and HIV are two things that you struggle...
..at first, to combine.
Because how do you bring it up?
How are they going to take it? How are they going to react?
And I think you face that even more
than you do with a friend or a family member.
Because this is someone that you want to be with,
it's someone that you want to put all your trust in,
and if they can't accept it, then...
Who can...who can. Yeah, like...
..who can?
So obviously on Grindr, you can put your HIV status on your profile.
Yeah.Would you ever do that? Have you ever done that?
Previously, when I have had dating apps - yes, I have.
I have told people. Which, in a way, stops people who don't want to know.
Stops them messaging you. Yeah. Like, "Don't message me."
But in the exact same breath, it just opens up a pit of people
being able to call you dirty,
being able to call you whatever they want to call you.
I still get negative comments on my YouTube.
I still have to hear vile, vile words,
and things that I don't want to hear but I do.
It's a matter of...
..living with HIV, I guess.
I also just want to say that it's not a gay disease.
It's not something that gay people get.
Erm, straight people...
..you can get it too.
Erm...
So please go and get tested.
So if you do go and test positive, then it's OK because you can start
on treatment and become undetectable.
Undetectable means untransmittable.
And because U equals U...
..you cannot pass it on.
What will happen when you have children?
Erm... Good question.
I'm on medicine, so there's, like, a less than 1% chance
that they'll get it. And then...
..they'll be born.
And...yeah. All three of them, she's going to have triplets.
Yeah! Triplets?! We've discussed this...
Don't believe me?
My mate Paida is HIV-positive.
Her son, Kai, is not.
Did you always know that you wanted to be a mum and have a family?
Yeah.
That was just like a dream for me, to be a mum.
Where are you?
As an undetectable, you get the same treatment
as a normal pregnant woman.
You get the same appointments, you don't have no extra drugs. Nothing.
It's just the same treatment as everyone else.
I was so emotional when he was born. Mm-hm.
I treat him as like a little miracle.
Like, "OK, I'm a mother, and I'm on medication."Yeah.
And it was just like, "Wow".
Yeah...
When I came out, Paida was one of only five young people I knew
who'd come out in the UK.
I did come out, like, on a Facebook post.
Like, one day, I just sat there, bawling my eyes out
in front of everyone.
I just can't believe you did all of that at, like, 15, 16.
I just... Yeah.
Speaking to Paida, I was like,
"There's no way I would ever do a Facebook status."
It just isn't...
Just can't imagine someone scrolling through Facebook, eating their tea,
and being like, "Whoa, whoa, hold up!"
You know? Like, it's...
..in the nicest way, it's such a 15-year-old way
to come out, isn't it?
The worst scenario was when I actually got jumped.
Jeez, I didn't know you got jumped. Yeah.
I got attacked outside the college.
That was, like, one of my lowest.
I almost regretted it, like, regretted actually coming out.
I was like, "OK, is that going to be my life now? Yeah.
A person comes out, and they literally get jumped.
A person comes out,
and people are saying stuff about them in the hallways.
You know, a person comes out, and they get a text from old friends
being like, "Don't ever come round my house again."
These are the actual repercussions.
And just cos I didn't face them and I'm like, "Oh, yeah, you know, like,
"coming out - it's been fine for me and everyone's been so supportive."
I want people to understand that's why James had to be anonymous.
Because there is that reality of, actually, coming out
could be terrible. It might not be, but it could be.
I've come out on an international scale, and I'm now starting
to realise maybe I'm not even as comfortable as I thought that I was
with just living with HIV.
Oh, yeah, like, I do all this stuff,
but I feel like if I'm talking about HIV, I have to talk about it
in the context of what I do, rather than just like,
"Yeah, I have HIV. So what?"
I wouldn't want to lull people into a false sense of, like,
"Oh, yeah, like, Mercy's got it under wraps. It's all good."
Because it's obviously not if I'm like,
"Well, I can't just simply be HIV-positive."
I have to, like...
..be doing something. To, like, be inspiring about it.
So, today I've invited everyone to my gorgeous home.
I'm kidding. You wish!
Hopefully, I was going to come here and have some fun.
I've invited James and, obviously, so far he's been anonymous...
..as he's still making the decision.
I'm not sure if he's going to turn up today.
But I think he will.
Glitter. I hope you're ready to be covered in it.
I'm ready. I'm ready.
This is going to look good. It's...
So, James has just texted saying, "I don't think I can make it."
Everything's good. He just wasn't ready to be so open about things,
which is fine but...still kind of sad because it was so fun
to have him as a part of this.
And cos he was such a big part of me coming out.
So it would have been, like, nice to have that.
I understand that - feeling like it's not the right time.
But I also wonder if there is a right time.
If you're holding out for the "this is the moment,"
I don't know if life pans out the way.
It's 2019.
This is the new face of HIV.
It's not about death.
It's about life.