Hey everyone, and welcome to TopThink. Today, we will learn about twelve signs
someone is a narcissist. Now, let’s begin.
We can all be narcissistic every once in a while. Sometimes, we talk more than we listen. Other
times, we enjoy being the center of attention. These are normal and natural tendencies. Even
the most modest people are prone to a little bit of narcissism. But what does it mean when someone
is boastful and self-obsessed all the time? A narcissist is someone who is excessively
interested in themselves. They’re often obsessed with their many talents and strengths. For
example, they might think of themselves as the most attractive or intelligent person no
matter where they go. Narcissists also tend to be dismissive of the opinions and feelings of others,
often believing others are somehow inferior to them. They’re more willing to use others for
personal gain because they don’t think anyone is as valuable or deserving as themselves.
While these are common narcissistic traits, narcissism exists on a broad spectrum.
Psychologists often measure how narcissistic a person is using a scale called the Narcissistic
Personality Inventory or NPI. The NPI is made up of a series of questions designed to assess
humility, selfishness, and other relevant characteristics. Most people score between
0 and 20 on the NPI, with the average sitting somewhere around 15. However, between 1% and
5% of people score significantly higher. Anyone in this range may be considered a narcissist.
Unfortunately, we don’t always have the NPI handy when we encounter a narcissist in the real world.
For example, if you’re worried a friend or partner is narcissistic, you can’t expect to quiz them
with a few dozen probing questions. Instead, you may look for toxic or self-centered behaviors that
correlate with higher-than-average narcissism. Spotting these traits and behaviors is not always
easy. Narcissists are very good at manipulating the opinions of others, allowing them to hide
their most destructive tendencies. They may deceive, shame, or gaslight others to pursue their
own agendas. If you’re not careful, these selfish personalities can take advantage of you. That’s
why, in this video, we’re going to explore some common signs of extreme self-possession. If these
twelve reliable signs sound familiar, stay on your toes because you may be dealing with a narcissist.
1. Spotlight Syndrome Narcissists always think they’re the
center of attention. They feel a bright spotlight shining down on them at all times. For example,
when they walk down the street, they assume every passerby is checking them out. When
they enter a room, they expect heads to turn and eyes to follow their every move.
This is commonly known as spotlight syndrome, and it’s a very common sign of a narcissistic
personality. Narcissists struggle to correctly interpret the feelings and
expressions of others. So, they often project their ideas and narratives onto the people they
encounter. They want the world to watch and admire them, so that’s exactly what they see.
2. Toxic Love Narcissistic personalities
seem charming when we first meet them. They shower us with compliments and attention,
making us feel like the only person in the world. Because they come on so strong, we assume they’re
genuinely interested in building a relationship, but that fantasy quickly comes crashing down.
Narcissists often start strong and fizzle just as fast. At first,
they’re excited about some romantic fantasy. But they become selfish and controlling once
the relationship gets real. If you know someone with similar unrealistic ideas about love,
be careful. They may initially seem charming and romantic but chasing a fantasy can be toxic.
3. Delusions of Grandeur Narcissists believe they are
fundamentally superior and assume that fact is evident to everyone they meet. Because they’re
supposedly better than everyone, narcissists think they deserve more. They demand gifts,
shortcuts, and special treatment. They may consider themselves “higher status” and
become upset when treated like everyone else. To a narcissist, the cards should always be
stacked in their favor, but these delusions of grandeur shouldn’t go
unnoticed. If someone in your life thinks they’re more important than everyone else,
you may be dealing with a narcissist. 4. The Narcissist’s Façade
Nobody is perfect, but narcissists often think they are. They work tirelessly to maintain a
perfect façade, pretending they’ve never failed at anything and that their weaknesses don’t exist.
They’ll go as far as bending the truth or denying real events to support this fake flawless image.
Obviously, they aren’t perfect, but if you confront a narcissistic person, they
won’t back down easily. Instead, they’ll become defensive and harsh. They may lash out at you,
tear you down, or blame you for their failures. Someone who is empathetic and self-aware doesn’t
need to blame others for their mistakes. They proudly take responsibility for and come to terms
with their imperfections. So, be wary of anyone who claims to be perfect, flawless, or invincible.
If this person can’t handle imperfection, they may be more toxic than you realize.
5. Excessive Validation Narcissists often seem more confident than
they are. They project an air of overwhelming self-assurance. They stand tall, pretending
to be the most secure and powerful person in the room. But deep down, they are terribly insecure.
Insecurity is often what drives their extreme narcissistic tendencies. These individuals need
constant validation from others because they’re unable to give that validation to themselves.
They act as though your opinion doesn’t matter, but to a true narcissist, few things matter more.
6. The Silent Treatment Narcissists may believe their
presence is a gift. They act like their company or attention is conditional, and when something
goes wrong, they quickly pull their attention away. For example, if there’s a narcissistic
person in your life, you may be familiar with the silent treatment. This person may shut you
out for hours or days, refusing to talk until you apologize and give in to their demands.
This is not only immature but also very toxic. By staying silent, this person is
trying to control and take advantage of you. No matter what you did, silence isn’t the answer.
Anyone who refuses to engage or communicate may be more narcissistic than you think.
7. They Need to Be Right Arguing with a narcissist can
be extremely frustrating. Even if they do not know what they’re talking about, they always
insist they are right. They don’t listen to other’s opinions or ideas and don’t accept
anything that contradicts their point of view. Why? Because narcissists interpret every argument
as a personal attack. They need to be right because they’re not secure enough to be wrong.
If you know someone who argues with their ears closed, you may be dealing with a narcissist.
8. The Blame Cycle Narcissistic individuals
will do anything to bolster their reputations. If something goes right, they’re more than happy to
take credit, robbing others of meaningful goals and achievements. But if something goes wrong,
they don’t hesitate to pass the blame, making others responsible for their mistakes.
This toxic cycle can be frustrating for the people in their lives. At every opportunity,
these narcissistic people inflate their egos while hurting the reputations of the people around
them. Obviously, this isn’t how empathetic people behave, and it’s not something you should tolerate
in any relationship, personal or professional. So, recognize these people for who they are.
They may try to convince you that their actions are justified. They may brag about their small
contributions. But if you can spot the signs, you can see right through them.
9. Power Fantasies Do you know someone who
fantasizes about wealth, fame, or power? Maybe they dream of ruling the world or making every
person obsessed with them. Extraordinary fantasies like these are a telltale sign of narcissism.
These self-obsessed people crave validation and attention. They want to be looked at and admired.
They already see themselves as superior to others, but in these fantasies, they’re literally on top
of the world. You may think they’re just messing around, but people with such grand fantasies may
only care about themselves. 10. The Brick Wall
Conversing with a narcissist can feel like talking to a brick wall. When you
share stories or express your feelings, they rarely ever listen. They don’t ask questions or
take an interest in your experiences. Anytime you open your mouth, they seem to lose focus…
Until, of course, it pertains to their life. Narcissists consistently hear what they want
to hear, cherry-picking words and sentences to support some narrative inside their heads.
One wrong word and you might trigger a huge overreaction. You can tell them 100
times that you didn’t mean any harm, but these self-centered people aren’t going to listen.
11. Defensive Projection Narcissists tend to be very
stressful and anxious people, but they may refuse to deal with their problems. Instead, they project
those problems onto others. For example, they may accuse others of trying to bring them down, even
though they are the ones sabotaging themselves. This is just one way that narcissists defend their
fragile image and ego. These people don’t want to admit that they experience normal
things like stress or anxiety. Why? Because then they wouldn’t be better than everyone
else. Anyone so determined to be superior is likely more selfish than you think.
12. Centers of the Universe For a narcissist, the world is their oyster.
They believe they can do and say whatever they want, rarely considering how their actions affect
others. For example, they may take advantage of others and abuse their resources. They
feel entitled to do so because, in the mind of a narcissist, they are the center of the universe.
Obviously, this isn’t how things work. The universe doesn’t revolve around one selfish
person, and neither should any of our lives. If you know someone who shamelessly uses or exploits
you, create some distance. Remove this person from your life. They may claim to be doing a favor,
but really… they’re only interested in themselves. Thank you for watching TopThink and be
sure to subscribe because more incredible content is on the way.