*wapoosh* TOP OF THE MORNIN' TO YA LADDIES!
my name is jacksepticeye
and welcome to the happiest game in the world!
some people in the comments were telling me
I should play this game
it's an early access game
I have no idea what I do
it was called "Slime Rancher"
and it looks really cute
and all these dudes have been bouncin' around
the screen for the past five minutes
and something comes- and something came down
and exploded them all, and they all just went
"whoohoo!"
up in the air
w, this is going to be the happiest game ever made!
ever-
this!
it just exploded and they were like
"heeehee!"
they're just like me
they're happy all the time!
"Jackaboy"
there we go, ah, play!
OK, let's get in
I have no idea what the controls are
I have no idea what the game actually is
"Slime Rancher early access" OK
move forward, move right, yeah yeah yeah
I get all that, what do I do though?
"pink slime"
*suck* OH!
"slimes are key to your sucess
shoot slimes through a corral barrier
into the corral on the ranch
select vac tank
hold mouse wheel to shoot", oh OH
oh!
so I suck them into the gun and then I shoot them?
but shoot them what?
"shoot them through a corral barrier
into a corral on the ranch"
corral! no coral
um, like this?
nope that's not it hehe
where's the corral?
oh, maybe it's this thing
is it?
yeah! I got them
" space bar to jump, left shift to run"
OK, so I'm collecting slimes
hello little slime!
aw man, they're adorable, this is so cute!
"your vacback can vac things up and
store them in a vactank
hold right mouse button to vac"
okey smokey dokey
but what exactly is the goal of the game?
there I got those dudes
can I vac a chicken?
I can vac a "Hen Hen"
"a hearty chicken bred to be twice as tasty
as it's cousin on earth"
"food like fruits, veggies, or chickens are
used to feed slimes
try shooting food at the slime, they'll eat anything."
oh, I got a "Chickadoo"
there, eat the chicken, OH MY GOD!
you just devoured a chicken!
and now I got I don't know
you need to get out of that
what the hell is this?
"when slimes eat they make plorts"
OK
"head on over to the Plort Machine to cash in your plort"
plort plort plort plort
wait, f- there's another chick goin' around
if I leave you guys going around
will you develop into chickens?
or can I?
OK, you don't eat the chicks, oh thank God
come here little chick
no, I don't need the pink slime!
I need the chickens to go out here
there ya go *laughs*
I just launched him
um, OK
I need you
no come here, I got a "Hen Hen"
could I have more "Hen Hen"s?
Oh God there's a whole fuckin' world out there
right shoot you, give me a plort!
I need a plort!
reminds me of that episode of Rick and Morty when
you have the plumbus
K, give me this
huep
there we go
OK
you gettin' bigger?
aw, it's fuckin' adorable
*giggles*
he's fallin' out he's like
"why am I alive?"
OK, let's find some other stuff
"shoot plort into the plort"...
OK, I have 264
ah, "new cash"-" new bucks"
264 new bucks, so how do I get somethin'?
um *inaudible*
"you've learnt the fundamentals
now it's time to get out there and explore"
remember, the best way to become
a pro rancher is to experiment"
nothing ventured, nothing gained
cool, so I don't have like a time limit
or anything on this stuff
I don't know how I get into you
"Press E to activate"
"Ranch expansion, the ranch's very own side"
OK, I need 1500 to get into another area
good Christ
OK, we're gonna go out and we're going to um,
collect a bunch of slimes
we're gonna ge- Oh! look at them all!
YAAAYY!
come here dudes!
OH YES!
lovely lovely slimes
and I got a pink plort, and I got a pogofruit
I'm gettin' everything!
sweet!
how much- how many things can I hold?
I have to feed them and get plorts
I'm gettin' a whole new vocabulary just playin' this game
this is so happy though
it's so colorful and jolly
and everything's so delightful
come here dudes
whooooooooo!
don't worry, you're going to a better place
with over-population
and bad um,
with a little chick there
I don't want the chick, I can't handle the chick
K, I'm full of- I'm full of pink slimes right now
but I'm not full of plorts
give me all your plorts
wait, could I fire them closer to home?
just fire them back and then be like, hey!
I'll pick you up on the way back
maybe, there's a tactic I could use
this is fun though, I like this!
it reminds me of
like Kirby in a way
or Pikmin
um, what am I on? OK, pink slimes
there we go!
fantastic!
I'll give you guys all your fruits
and all your carrots
cool!
K, how do I pick up the plorts
without pickin' up the rest of it?
guess I'm just gonna have to like, guess
here we go!
*laughs*
Good Christ
OK, I got all the plorts
so now I need, no, there you go!
eat it!
fuckin' assholes, OK, fire the pink slimes back in
*laughs*
heeeheeu!
they're so happy!
they're just happy to be alive, man.
they don't care about anything
and I need to fire you into here
to get more money!
OK, I get it
what ar- what are these things though?
how- how do I get you?
how do I pick something?
oh wait, here we go
"E to activate"
ooh
"corral is used to keep slimes on a ranch
remember you can shoot things through a corral"
can I- can I get a new one?
uh, resources
vacpack, slimes
is this just the slimepedia
I wanna know how I get this shit
or what ha shit even is, oh wait!
never mind
you don't get this stuff
it's how much it turns into your currency
Whoops, I'm a sil
Does that mean I can get a new ranch then
if this one gets too full
I get it!
"Range Exchange Offline"
I can get a jetpack?
Dash boots?
Can I get a tank bo- "improved nano-storage cell
Technology allows your vac tanks
To hold 30 units
Yes!
While the other ones are gonna get me around faster
This is gonna be better in the long run
Because now I can hold more dudes
Does that mean I hold like,
Like a bu- like 20 in 1?
20 in another
Ooh, these dudes are all back
Owooooh
Sweet!
Woah look at the size of that dude!
That's gigugic!
K, I don't really wanna go down there though, thats scary
I just wanna handle my pink slimes for now
Music's so happy as well
This is the happiest game ever made, man
This is so cute
K, kinda wish I bought the jetpack there
Or the dash boots, or something
But being able to hold more dudes will,
Yield better results in the long rum
A different- a rock slime!
Aw I love this
This is so adorable it's like playing
Puppy island adventure or something like that
Woah I can't bring you
Get out of my gun
It's like when you suck up a sock into a hoover
Or a vacuum
Oh!
Ow!
You guys hurt
Ah!
Run away, I'm run in' away, you guys suck!
Hwa!
Can't get over there, damnit
I have no idea where I am
I don't know what I'm doin
I'm just havin' a good time
I'm just here to have fun
It's raining pink slimes!
And there's little kitty cat ones as well,
but I can't get them
Here we go, I'm just gonna suck everything I cam
"Boop!" Achievement unlocked
They're just bouncing, they're like, fuckin footballs!
Balloon footballs!
OK, I have 30, OK, I can't hold any more of you guys
So I might have to head back to camp
I'd be back later though
You guys can trust me-
I can get another rock slime, right?
Yeah, there we go
Can't have any more chickens, what are you?
Can you- can you make me jump? No
OK, Let's head back to camp
I have no idea where my camp is
I'm lost now
Don't stray too far from home Jack
You'll get lost and you'll never be able to go back
Like that time
I got- I actually got lost in a store before
when I was younger
I was walking around
And my- we were in a clothes shop
And e- my family were walkin' around
And I was with them
And then I got distracted by somethin', as I did as a child
I was a bit dumb
I was a very a- a very a- ADD kind of child
Something will catch my attention and I'd walk off
And get lost somewhere
Um they wer- they were walking around the clothes isles
And I was teeny tiny when I was younger
Like super small
WAY smaller than I am now
And
They were lookin' at clothes and
they went off in one direction
And I went another direction, I turned around
I couldn't find them
And I panicked
They were just around like, two isles down
But I panicked, I didn't know where they were
And then I kinda got scared
And -"whoohooo"!
I kinda got scared and had to go to the
Uhh!
To the, like customers service desk
And I was like, can you help me?
I'm lost
And I couldn't find my family
And they called out my name on the intercom
And my family came down to find me
My family were like,
How did you get lost?
Good God what are you?
A "Roostro"!
Cool! Eat the roostro
These guys are all chickens now
And I have carrots, and I have to fire
All all these guys in because I need to get plorts
Feels so ridiculous saying all that stuff
Plorts! Plorts!
It's kinda annoying how I can't get the
I have to suck up the dudes
and the plorts at the same time
Whoo!
Oh God I learnt how to fly
No!
You motherfuckers!
Stay in there!
God damnit
Get back inside
Come over here
Little douche bags man
Pink slimes, ya can't trust them
Think I might any- too many pink slimes
There's a load of them, come over here
Stop flying out over the edge
Need to get a new corral
I'm gonna buy a new corral anyway for the rock slimes
So let's us, get rid of our plorts
Let's get rid of our plorts, in the plort machine
So then I can get more rock slimes
and put them in the corral
There's a lot of words, in all of that
Um, I don't have enough for stuff though
How much is a corral
Or do I even have to buy them
Activate, corral
250?
Fine, fine
Fine there
I got rock slimes in there now and
now I almost have no money
It's just a constant back and forth man
Wait, you're open
Oh no you're not, never mind
K, maybe the stuff from the rock sli- slimes
Will gimme more
There's a bunch of corrals, around here
and its going to get to a point
where I have so many corrals, and so many dudes
that I'm just gonna be shittin' out money
what do you things do?
oh, nothing
so ah, there's too many pink slimes
whoa!
what are you? phosphor slime!
come here little buddies
yay!
phosphor slimes are cute!
don't need the pink ones anymore
I got a tabby slime!
aw man I only have 4 ports
I need more
god damnit
so I have a rock slime but I have rock plorts now as well
there's a rock plort
go away you, I don't need ya
so many chickens
OK, tabby slimes
oh that's a big dude'
no thank you, not today anyway
uh, anymore rock plorts or anything around
stop that!
woah! he tried to kill me!
pink slimes, I told you
ya can't trust them
especially the big ones, those guys suck
those guys suck a big ol pile of pink
right, I need to get more of the tabbys
*imitation of slimes*
hehehe
like little hello kitties
they're so fuckin' cute
so phosphors and...
phosphors and tabbys and...
uh, rock slimes and rock plorts
woah you got big
WOAAHH!
look at that dude
you're on a secret aren't ya?
oh God ah he's so cute
If I have a thing big enough to suck you in
I think
ooh rock plort
I think I might get you off a button
tha you're doing something on
that's a pink and a tabby one!
do they combine?
that is interesting
let us cheky, chikity checky check it out!
I wanna combine them, I wanna make the best
slime there ever was
any more of you dudes around here
what is that?!
ew ew ew
K I'll get another rock slime oh wait I can' swallow you in
can I? no no, ow
ow that hurt me
on an emotional level as well
dafuq are they?
the tarr
slimes meat and ranchers
oah! that's me!
woah! look at them all
these dudes are just happy to be alive
*giggles*
hooo!
OK, let's head back
get a bunch more money
hopefully, I need food for them though
it's like I need to go off and set a mission for myself
and not get greedy
um
dammit
I don't have to put the phosphor slimes in here
with you guys
sorry
over crowdness is a serious issue
stop hat you bastards!
god damnit I need higher walls
uh, pink plorts
and rock plorts
rock plorts are 25
yeah!
I was hopin' that here would be an upgrade
that would let me have more chambers for my gun
instead of just 4, there's not!
I got ja- Dash boots
jetpack
more sprint, more heart
pulse wave that I don't need
You see
It's becoming really hard to keep them all together
Cuz I need more ranches for everything
And then the cats eat meat and start eating everything
These guys only eat vegetables
So I need to spread them around, aaahh
it's difficult, it's like having 5000 children
hoho, it's feeding time, buys
here have a- have a chicken
and maybe anoher one?
acan you eat the chicken twice
can you eat twice? yeah
tabby plorts
tabby plorts good god the vocabulary
K, you guys are veggies
so you here you go (bloop x5)
eat up all them vegetables
vegetable bles
no! do not eat the fuckin' plorts
sons of bitches that's my money
you're basically eatin' my money
you realise that?
fuck off!
god damnit!
sons of bitches, this is why you don't mix
it's so difficult
K, we get a
I don't need a pink slime'
get a rock plort bloop bloop bloop
aw so much money
aw so much money, which ones like fruit?
aw they're dead
it was the- the phosphor slimes
but hey're dead cuz the sunlight came out
oops
you guys eat everything though right?
all the money!
it'll all be mine
that's sweet bro
awesome
I have a load of money now
and b- and I'm about to get a whole lot more
cuz I can just fire this in the middle of this
and get all the pink plorts again
I need a bigger gun
I need something that can kill these motherfuckers
get out of here
oh god
oh god I made one of those things
I made one of the tarr dudes
aw no!
I think they eat everything
aw christ, oh god, oh no
that's what happens when you mix the gene pool
you come out with abominations
los of money, yay
why
K, you guys all stay in there
can I suck up this?
no? oh god, oh god
ae you guys here to eat everything?
yep, yep, yep
OK, I still don't know AH!
I still don' know what the heartbeats are but
you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get me a
a motherfuckin' jetpack
I'm also gonna get me um, dash boots
and
not a pulse wave, I don't have enough for a pulse wave
damnit UH!
ah! that is the most shittiest jetpack
I've ever seen in my life
how does it even work? I need my energy back
how does the jetpack work?
I might as well have gotten nothin'
oh I can suck up the water
oh that made sense
now
oh no!
spittin' out my plorts
didn't mean to do that
I wanna spit out water, I don't know what it does
oh I can use it like a weapon
oh that's really handy actually
I'm gonna go back,
and I'm gonna try to get my pulse wave
and then destroy some ass
K, any rock plorts lying around?
can you guys? ro- rock plort rock plorts? rock plorts?
no, no rock plorts? OK
my god they're all dead
those tarr dudes ate everyone
good lord! that's kinda scary actually
can I have
oh I have lots, oh I have all the money
all the money is mine
gimme that pulse wave, I wanna see what it does
uh, pulse wave
woo!
I just guessed that it would be middle mouse
can I use it on you? woo!
woosh!
whooosh, whooosh
K
are you guys like real cats you just wanna cuddle
that sucks!
you know what? I'm gonna leave this video here
this game's super cute though
and it's very very early acess
there's a lot more still to be added to it I imagine
here, want some water?
anybody? blomp blomp
bloop! *laughs*
so I'm looking forward to see how they
expand upon the game
and their like
other features they'll add
they'll refine some stuff
change some prices of things
but it's cool!
I like it, I've- I've
I have very high hopes for this
it's so adorable man
I love it to bits, but for now
THANK you guys so much for watching
and if you liked it
PUNCH that Like Button, in the FACE
LIKE A BOSS!!! And
high fives all around. *W'PSH!* *W'PSH!*
But THANK YOU GUYS, and I will see all you dudes...
IN THE NEXT VIDEO!
Outro Song by "Teknoaxe" called "I'm everywhere"
I'm finally done hallelujah. I did that all by myself :)
Outro Song by "Teknoaxe" called "I'm everywhere"
just fire the water straight u[
and let it come back on top of your head
or let it rise indefinitely
ah, ah oh
*gurgles* *laughs*