- It was a very hot summer in Hong Kong.
In fact, the sun was hot the sun was splitting the stones.
As I stepped into the hospital, chills run through
my body, run through my arms, run through my legs.
As I step into that room, I open the door.
At the mortuary.
I still remember the bright ceiling lights
and the white floor
and I saw my dad's body.
And I looked at him and I didn't recognize the body
because in my memory, it was much larger.
It was so small and there was a thin ice
around the body.
It's like I'd never seen that expression on his face.
And he seemed to be in so much pain and his teeth
was missing.
And as the tears were pouring down my cheek,
I said to him no, no, that's not my dad.
My dad doesn't look like that.
Because I couldn't believe and I was crying so hard
and I started to choke and I just couldn't breathe
and I couldn't breathe because I couldn't accept the fact
that my dad has passed away.
I never got to say goodbye.
And I asked myself the question, was it worth it?
What am I doing all this for and what is the meaning
of this?
Because I remember, I started my business when I was young
to support my family, to provide a better family
for my future.
I came to Canada when I was 14 years old with no money,
no connections, I couldn't speak a word of English.
My mom and dad got divorced when I was 16 years old
and that's how I got into business.
I remember, there was a time when my mom and I,
we lived in Surrey and we were living in a one-bedroom
apartment and my mom would sleep in the bedroom
and I would sleep on the floor in the living room.
I remember there was a time when I would go to a local
bakery and my mom and I would drive her car and we'd go
there at 6:00 p.m. once a week because the bakery
closed at seven and would buy a whole load of bread
for just a few dollars and I would eat that bread for lunch
and breakfast or the entire week.
I remember there was a time and I was just trying
to survive, just trying to survive, just trying to make
ends meet.
And there was a time my heart would beat a little faster
because we were trying to figure out where the money
is going to come from this week, where am I going to find
the money just to pay for groceries, just to put gas
in the car, just to pay the rent?
I mean, we had no idea.
At the time, we didn't have any money and I had no idea
if I will ever be, when I'll ever be successful,
but I remember, I always tell my parents,
mom and dad, someday don't worry.
Someday I'll be successful.
Then I'll take care of both of you.
Just like most people, I started a lot of things, I had
a lot of failures, jumping from one thing to another,
have all these crazy ideas and I started to fail
at 13 businesses before having my "first success."
And finally, I caught little bit of a break and my
business was just taking off and I had finally had
some little security in my life.
It was okay and I was making a six-figure income
with my consulting and writing business.
And finally, I have some breathing room, I have some
security and I can take care of my mom,
take care of my dad,
take care of myself and put some money aside.
And as I strive to achieve more and more and more,
and I was on a fast track to success.
As I become more successful, I was spending less and less
time with my family and I was chasing, chasing what I
thought was my dream.
I thought was my dream.
That at the time, if I had my first successful business,
then I would have made it.
And then it's two companies, and it's three companies,
it's five companies, it's one car, it's two car,
it's three cars.
There's a first meal, second meal, third meal,
and I was chasing this, all this chasing,
this game of chasing,
but it was nothing more than a scream for validation.
I was seeking validation from the society, from my parents,
from my friends, I was seeking approval from my teacher
that I am enough, that I want to prove to the world
that I am smart, that I am somebody.
That look at me, look at my accomplishment.
I was self-centered, I was selfish,
I was egotistical.
I was trying to win the game of fulfillment,
running on a track of achievement.
How many can relate?
That's the way I was.
The problem is, you can never, you can never validate
yourself internally by something external.
You can never validate yourself something internal
externally.
And as I was achieving, I was lying to myself.
I am doing it for my family, I am not spending time with
them because I hae to work, that's why I'm working so hard
so that I can.
I'm not spending quality time because then I can produce,
I can provide for the future for my family.
I was just lying to myself until one day, I hit the wall.
I was chasing the biggest deal in my entire business career
that if the deal goes through, it would set me up
for years.
And I thought wow, I got to make this work.
And I was out of town and I was negotiating
and my aunt from Hong Kong gave me a call.
I received a call from her and she said, "Dan, your dad
"is in emergency.
"He may or may not make it.
"You should come back."
And I thought to myself,
yes, okay.
I am so close, I am so close at closing a deal.
Let me close the deal for my dad.
Then I will take this and I will fly back as quickly
as possible and see him.
But what I didn't expect is I lost the deal
and I never said goodbye to my dad
and that's when I got very honest with myself
and I sat down and I asked myself a question
that I was too afraid to answer.
And I asked myself what am I chasing all this for?
And who am I really?
What am I about?
What's my legacy?
Do I want to be, when I ask myself the question,
if I get to
the last hour of my last day,
laying in my deathbed looking back at my life,
how would I wish I had lived?
Do I want to be known as someone?
Well, that guy has made a few dollars or do I want
to be known as someone?
You know what?
That man, he changed my life.
And that's when I made one of the greatest decisions
I have ever made.
I stop.
I stop being fearful and I just start appreciating.
I trade expectations for appreciation.
I stopped being fearful and stopped being grateful
and I stopped just taking in business, taking, and getting,
and more and more, and I start giving.
And I stop operating from a place of ego,
of accumulation.
Accumulation of wealth, accumulation of status,
recognition, and power, and money.
And I start operating from a place of contribution
and growth.
Contribution and growth.
And from there, I learn I finally recognize
the secret to having it all is knowing you already do,
is to know you already do.
The other day, I was speaking an interview
on a radio show and the host was asking me,
"Dan, if you have the power to change one thing
"in your life, what would that be?"
And I said, "If I have the power, I would change
"one thing I my life.
"I would say get to spend even more time with my dad
"and being able to say goodbye.
"And just kiss his cheek one more time."
If there's a gift that I came by to give you today,
and that would be life is too short,
it is too short.
That
commit to yourself something greater than yourself.
As I go through this journey called life, as I go through
kind of the four stages of life, as I went from survival
to security, from security to success,
and shift from success to significance,
what I've learned here is when you are trying to,
when you're looking for more success, if you do it
for yourself, that's nice.
And when you do better, your life gets better,
that's nice.
Nothing wrong with that.
We all start there, but if you are looking for more success
and you are supporting your family, you'll get a different
level of insights.
It's a different level of motive, it's a different
level of energy.
If you are supporting a community, you get a whole
different level of insight.
And if you're supporting humanity, and that's not bullshit.
If you actually want to impact billions of people,
you'll get insights most people couldn't even dream of.
So I just want to leave you with one question.
One question.
When you get to the last hour
of your last day,
looking back on your life, how will you
wish you have lived?
Thank you very much.
(audience applauds)