[Music]
oh this is a good one eight proven ways
to stop being shy and quiet does the
idea of social interaction send panic
waves through your body yeah it tends to
do that for shy people but even if
you've been the quiet type your whole
life there are lots of things you can do
to build your confidence become more
charismatic and get rid of that social
awkwardness for good
here are eight tips on how to do just
that and of course be sure to hit that
subscribe button and ring the
notification bell to join us on the
bright side counting down from number
eight replace your negative inner voice
shy people can be highly critical of
themselves if you have a tough inner
voice constantly judging you super
harshly and putting you down then you'll
be more prone to removing yourself from
social situations because you expect to
be judged by others just as relentlessly
think about it if a person regularly
beats themselves up for their mistakes
the things they can't do or they compare
themselves to other people chances are
they'll want to stay home all day long
and not see anybody that's why you've
got to replace that tough inner critic
with a friendlier more supportive voice
you need to treat yourself with the same
kindness you'd show a friend when that
inner critic has something to say talk
back and prove it wrong to do that
you'll need to number seven embrace your
strengths everybody's good at something
and you're no exception
shy quiet people are just as smart
successful competent and interesting as
extroverts the only difference is that
shy people might have a hard
I'm talking about what makes them so
unique so others don't get a chance to
notice it if someone asks you about
yourself this is the time to speak up
about the things you're great at maybe
you're an avid reader have an amazing
taste in music or are really good at
your job or studies if you don't talk
about your accomplishments no one will
ever know about them not to mention this
is a great exercise in increasing your
self-esteem and quieting that harsh
inner voice of yours take some time to
think about the things you're really
good at or topics you know a lot about
and come conversation time that
information will be your secret weapon
speaking of which number six offer
information being in a large group of
friends or acquaintances can be an
awkward experience for people who suffer
from social anxiety but still don't wait
for others to ask how you're doing how
your projects are going or what you did
this weekend take the initiative to tell
your friends what's going on in your
life your close ones will appreciate you
sharing this information and keeping the
conversation going the same goes the
other way around remember to also ask
your friends how they are talking about
yourself and asking others about their
lives seems like an impossible task for
a shy person because it means well
talking and having people look at you I
know you'd rather be a fly on the wall
and wait for others to pull you into the
conversation but if you want to overcome
your shyness actively offering
information is a must number five don't
advertise your shyness you know it's all
too easy to apologize to others for an
awkward interaction by saying something
like sorry I'm really shy but by
advertising your shyness you're only
trapping yourself in this label people
might not even see you as quiet or
awkward until you bring it up
and from then on they'll only be able to
see you that way
there's nothing wrong with being the shy
one but holding on to that label can
really set you back if you sincerely
want to open up and be more
conversational and what if someone else
brings up your shyness themselves just
try to keep it casual you can tell them
you don't see yourself that way or just
brush it off number four
practice your body language body
language tells you so much about a
person in social situations people who
feel awkward or shy might cross their
arms or legs avoid eye contact angle
their body away from others stand or sit
further away or lower their head they
might also hide behind their phone or
always keep it in hand it's important to
be mindful if you do any of these things
and change your body language to be more
open and friendly sit or stand up
straight keep your head held high and
maintain eye contact assume a
comfortable body position that's angled
towards the person you're engaged with
and of course put your phone away and
listen even if it feels weird for you to
use confident body language at first
these poses themselves can actually
start to build confidence in you number
three start saying yes now if you're shy
you're probably skilled at declining
invitations just to avoid social
interaction you might even come up with
excuses or go out of your way to avoid
someone or some event but when you say
no you create a barrier that closes off
opportunities next time someone asks you
if you want to go to dinner or join them
with some friends on an outing try
saying yes instead if you see an
acquaintance at the mall
don't run away and hope they don't see
you if this is someone you like then
just approach them and start catching up
saying yes can be empowering which is a
real confidence booster plus if people
are constantly inviting you out with
them they obviously like you and want to
spend time with you so go for it and
hang out with people who care about you
number two stay in the moment if you're
out with a group of friends and you've
said something incorrectly or you think
you sounded foolish it gets that
critical inner voice going and you get
so caught up in your self demeaning
thoughts that you totally disengage with
what's happening at the present time
your brain can even start tricking you
and telling you how your friends are
totally looking at you like you're some
kind of idiot when that's absolutely not
the case the stuff that vicious cycle of
anxious thoughts from ruining your night
out you've got to put all your focus in
what's actually happening if you feel
you're starting to be led away from the
conversation by your own thoughts a good
trick is to start asking follow-up
question to who's ever asking at the
moment this will serve as a good
distraction for you and the people
you're with will feel glad that you're
listening number one do the things
you're scared to do it's worked for
others down through history Eleanor
Roosevelt said you must do the things
you think you cannot do Ralph Waldo
Emerson said do the thing you fear and
the death of fear is certain and this
one conquering your greatest fear can
sometimes turn it into your greatest
strength oh yeah I said that one Hey
overcoming shyness isn't just about
learning to talk to people it's also
about the basic principle of doing the
things you're scared to do you learn
earlier that a fear of being judged
usually plays a big part in being shy
maybe you've always wanted to dance in a
club join a sports team or give a speech
in front of a crowd but you've always
been way too shy to even think about it
start by practicing to face your fears
with the help of someone you trust if
you've always wanted to sing for example
you could go to karaoke night with a
friend this way you know that no matter
what people think you have a friend
that's right there to support you once
you've done that well
the sky's the limit so bright ciders
what's something you've always wanted to
do but we're too scared to try me I was
afraid of heights so I went skydiving
and I've since made hundreds of jobs
true story
let us know about you down in the
comments remember to give this video a
like share it with your shy friends and
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side of life
you