- Power of Christ compels you!
- I (beep) your mother!
- The power of Christ compels you!
The power of Christ compels you!
- Your mother's in Hell!
- The power of Christ compels you!
The power of Christ compels you!
- I'll suck your (beep)!
Let me suck your (beep)!
Mother (beep)!
(demon growling)
- Could you please clear the room?
(airships zooming)
- Gotta be careful here.
This place is crawling with them.
What was that?
- What?
- Cover me.
- Guys! Hey guys!
Hey guys!
Oh, thank God.
Hey, we started a community of survivors.
Y'all come live with us!
(cocks gun)
(gunshots)
(machine powering down)
- Wait, how did you know?
- Come on.
Redneck wants us to move into his community?
Us?
Let's go.
- Over here!
Oh thank God, there are others!
- Would you let me date your daughter?
- Of course!
(gunshots)
- [Woman] Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!
(woman screams)
- Please don't hurt me!
Uh, uh... My best friend's black
and I love Jay-Z
and, uh, my favorite movie is Think Like a Man!
- She's good.
- Come with us.
Stay close.
What's your name?
- Emily.
- Of course it is.
(suspenseful techno music)
- Hey hey hey!
Don't shoot! Don't shoot!
- What do you think about the police?
- Well, I love their third album.
(gunshots)
(old man screams)
- I- I- I don't have any money!
I've no money!
(old man screams)
- Oh my God! Oh my God!
Thank God you guys showed up.
I gotta get outta here.
It's a silver Lexus.
Just pull it right up front,
and don't scuff the paint. All right?
I just had it buffed.
(key jingling)
(gunshot)
- Was he a alien too?
- Yep.
- Oh no, please don't say anything.
Please just keep it to yourself, whatever it is-
(Levi sneezes)
- Oh.
Thought you had an idea.
- I do.
- (beep)
- We need to make an app...
- Like for a smartphone?
- An app that all the people could download
and then we make millions.
- This (beep) is hard to come up with, man.
It's like catching lightning in a bottle.
- I already got that.
- You got what?
- Lightning in a bottle.
- Really? What's the idea?
- No, no "idea".
I got actual lightning in a bottle.
- No, Le-Levi.
That's just a phrase.
- I got that though.
(electricity buzzing)
Lightning in a bottle. Bloop.
- That's crazy, son!
Where'd you get that?
- Some old Chinese man sold it to me years ago.
- I mean that's some supernatural (beep) man.
- Nah, man. All it does is this.
(electricity loudly zapping)
- I got it.
But seriously man...
would it be like a app that reminds
you when your favorite television shows are on?
- No!
We gotta address this crazy ass bottle that you got!
- What bottle?
- (bleep), what bottle?
The bottle...
with the lightning in it!
- You still on that?
- Yes.
How does it work?
- Cedric, I don't know.
It's the classic lightning in the bottle gag.
- Classic light...
- You just open it up...
(electricity loudly zapping)
(Cedric screaming)
- Okay. You know what?
You shouldn't have this.
This (beep) belongs to the military or something.
- But that app though...
- No, we don't need the app.
You've got the goose that laid the golden egg.
- How do you know about Honkers?
- What?
This mother...
(Honkers honks)
- Honkers, get in on this app idea.
(Honkers honks)
- You like it?
(Honkers honks)
- He likes it.
- Yep, he got a goddamn golden egg.
- Honkers here is the cat's pajamas.
- No, please don't. Don't-
- I want to show you something.
- Whatever it is, I don't want to see it.
- It's relevant.
- I already know what it is.
- It ain't what you think.
- Well, what I think it is
is a pair of cats pajamas.
- These are for Honkers to wear.
- (beep) what?
- The little neck in there.
- The neck?
How you going to fit his head
through this the- with the the orange hump (beep)?
(Honkers honks)
- I'm gonna have to ask you to leave my house.
- Why?
- Because you disrespected my roommate.
(Cedric inhales)
- Okay.
Okay. It's clear that this is a crazy house,
so I gotta go.
You over here talking about geese
and golden eggs and feline sleepwear.
(Honkers honks)
- C'mon man,
Cedric, you need to get off your high horse man.
Hey, I just thought of a name for you.
High Horse.
(High Horse neighs)
- Moving out?
Please, this is the worst possible time.
Please don't do this.
Babe?
- [Stan] Garbage!
- Huh?
- Can I take your garbage?
- Yeah, sure.
(Stan laughs)
- You know, I find the more garbage in the can
the better it feels to dump it all out.
I suppose that's why
we let it get so full in the first place...
So we can start over.
(Stan snaps)
(mystic bells ringing)
- Here to fix the copier.
- Yeah. Sure, sure.
- Hey, how did you-
- Sometimes things ain't really broken,
it's the way we treat 'em
that needs to be fixed.
(mystical ringing)
(copier whirring)
(Carl whistles)
(bird tweets)
(Carl laughs)
- Who the hell are you guys?
- The important question is, who are you Steve?
(sudden suspenseful music)
- Well,
if it isn't Mr. Stan there.
- Carl.
(epic foreboding music)
- You need to find
your own troubled white boy.
- I was here first.
(epic music crescendos)
- Copycat!
(Carl coughs)
- Sweep this!
(Stan grunts)
(Carl laughs maniacally)
(Stan snaps)
- Uh oh.
(Stan shouts)
(Carl grunts)
(Stan laughs)
(electrical buzzing)
(papers flapping)
(paper stars whirring)
- Damn!
Chesterfield!
(Carl whistles)
(eagles cries)
- There can be only one...
- Magical...
- Negro!
(epic music crescendos)
(electrical buzzing)
(laser buzzing)
(Carl whistles)
(both shout)
(loud boom)
(cars honking)
- Good lord.
Are you all right?
Well,
I guess sometimes things have to come apart
before we can put 'em back together again.
- Oh, you're a magical negro too!
- Who you callin' negro, bitch?