how about I fallen out of love with Mexico City or have I just fallen out of
love with myself this is probably the most emotion I've shown ever I decided
to give myself a metaphorical slap around the face tell myself to man up
get a grip the problem is not Mexico City the problem is me
okay we finally have decent lighting wonderful and there's a massive dog in
the fountain anyway hola amigos and welcome back to Mexico City for the upteenth
time today is Saturday afternoon it's April the 13th and I have been AWOL
for weeks since I left Acapulco and hopefully during the course of this
video it will become clear why so I am just heading to Starbucks to do some
work but I'm also filming a video today obviously in terms of a digital Nomad
update which I said I was going to do in Acapulco, here is the massive
dog look at the size of the dog, humongous, what is it with
dogs in this city it's crazy this one so I'm going to sit down right
we found a seat now long term viewers hello everyone you will know that I
don't shy away from being honest and being real and you know telling you
about the reality of long-term travel and working online and digital Nomad
life and if I'm having a shit time I'll tell you so that's what I'm going to do
in this video and for new viewers if this is the first time you've ever seen
me welcome hello I'm gonna save you some time so you
might be tempted after this video to you know, leave a death threat, I get a lot
of those in the comments down below telling me that I am an entitled millennial I'm
almost 40 I'm not even a millennial I thought I shouldn't be complaining and
moaning about the lifestyle that I lead that there are millions of people in the
world that it's not even an option for them to travel whenever they want within
reason and work online they just don't have the opportunity and I should be
more humble and understanding and aware of the world they are all valid point so
I'm saving you some time because I know all that
alright but the thing is it's all relative and I've had a really tough
time the last couple of weeks which I'm gonna tell you about and we're gonna
touch on some words so English learners listen up
normality familiarity boredom depression mundanity, is that even a word I don't
know but those are the things that I've been feeling the last few weeks
especially when we talk about having a home and having a base I've been doing
this for two and a half years and just like with anything you do in life in
terms of a job or a relationship whatever you know I think back to when I
was in UK and you're in one place things do get
familiar things get normal things get boring and that's what happens you know
this is a bit of a sequel to the Oaxaca video I did last to hit some of you may
remember that Oaxaca video but hopefully there'll be a bit more resolution in
this video because I want to tackle the point which has been on my mind all year
that I have never addressed and that is the fact how do I fallen out of love
with Mexico City or have I just fallen out of love with myself and what I do
I'm hoping by the end of this video I will understand that more and give
myself some therapy what a millennial awful but anyway I'm gonna go
to Starbucks I'll see the bit
okay a little bit of work done and it's time to rediscover the magic of Mexico
City not I feel like I've lost this year so you soften my schedule their first
time I've ever shown you that that's a typical week so 26 hours worth of
English lessons this week which I've just planned for the whole week videos
conversation topics you name it and you know I don't just travel willy-nilly all
the time whatever I want to do every day that's why I don't film videos every day
because I simply can't you know 26 hours worth of work plus
planning lessons Tuesday and Thursday generally YouTube days hopefully and
weekends also so it's not easy and one of the things that I've struggled with
lately is simply leaving the house I'm living in Narvarte as you may know I
lived there before that year ago and I have the additional job at the moment of
looking after the Airbnb because my host stroke flatmate now is in Europe on
holiday and you know so I've looked after bookings get rooms ready things
like that so I have additional stuff to do and is this is where the depression
thing comes in because when you are by yourself working by yourself at home now
I want to speak to know colleagues you know it's difficult and you get lonely
and some mornings when I don't have lessons it's so difficult simply to get
out of bed you know it's that bad I don't shave I don't do my hair this is
the first time actually straighten my hair days weeks
I don't know so we get the magic back so I felt a year ago and you know this time
of year is fantastic in Mexico City, April, Jacaranda trees everywhere beautiful and
you know I'm gonna talk a bit about not seeing things
when I get to my next destination so let's go the joys of the subway Centro
medico I need to get to well the line going to Universidad. beautiful!
I;m at Zapata station, why am i showing you the subway quite simply
because this is the sort of thing that brings back my mojo I love subways, i'm
a subway geek, even though I've showed you the subway millions of times before line 12 now is
the newer trains they can walk all the way through and they sports right as I
make my way through the swathe the plethora of tourists everywhere but
constantly my face I can see it now let's touch on the point I mentioned
before about not seeing things you know I'm coming to a lot of places in this
video where I've done countless videos before and when you've been someone's
for such a long time like I have been here things become normal things become
familiar you just walk past them so when I do get
past this mental block for I've got at the moment about leaving the house that
barrier I walk past things and I don't see them that or and wonder and
fascination that I once had with Mexico City has disappeared but we're trying to
get that back in this video so far going to right right was negative already I'm
negative now I'm always jealous of these people on this bus and the people
waiting in the queue by me to get into that place because um a year ago I was
like that and if you're a foreigner coming to Mexico City for the first time
maybe for a week's holiday like many of you are let's get into some light let's
go back again her you know you're going to be fascinated by these places you're
going to want to go to these places but right now I think this is a
natural thing that comes over time it's like I'm at home in the UK again at home
in the UK I've got to that point where I'm calling the UK home it is not home
where is my home where do I belong these are all questions I'm asking as well as
some other important questions which I'll come on to when we get to our next
place
right it highlights my anger and rage at the moment bad mood I've just got into
an argument with some of the guys trying to shine shoes you can see I'm doing
this but he comes up to me and tries to do my shoes piss off you know these
things are testing my patience and I've come to a place where I've been many
times before and I normally would feel like some level of emotion but I feel
nothing at all nothing at all and I've tried to film this so many times now but
I've just written saying you know I've said just before about belonging places
I've ever not got belong anywhere and I've been I've been thinking a lot
lately about the fact that you know what do I do in the future do I see myself
doing this in a year's time five years time do I want to more importantly no I
don't think I do being holed up in a room doing intercessions and editing
videos is not my dream you know I don't know what my dream is
so I think things are going to change coming up I do have some possible plans
in the future which I don't want to talk about yet because I don't know if
they're gonna happen no my track record but one important thing that's going to
be happening before the next videos this is coming off I'm sick of it drive me
crazy look stupid yes let me go I'm not filming is okay anyway
we're heading down to one final place that I haven't been to since last year
which is bizarre considering I live just like five metro stations down the road
let's see if the magic of Mexico City can return well I just saw the flag
OMG
oh so many memories at this place
el grito, independence day so many other videos I've done here it
is immense, ok apologies for the grumpiness apologies for the negativity apologies
for the moaning but that's reality I'm not gonna be one of those youtubers that
puts on a fake smile and pretend to everything is effing perfect all the
time when it isn't but when you come to these places Mexico City is magic
finally I I have a motion again see this is probably the most emotion I've shown
ever to end this video I think it's clear the problem is not Mexico City the
problem is me yes Mexico City has lost its magic in a way because I've been in
so long quite simply and the fact that I'm working a lot I'm not traveling I'm
by myself lonely depressed that is adding to my bad mood and then feeling
that I need to move on so I think coming here today has kind of renewed me in a
way
because I've been in for so long and this place is just immense you know and
I don't want to discourage people come to Mexico City that's not the intention
because you know I love this place and it's different if you're on holiday
vacation whatever really bill either so long it or anyway it just doesn't matter
about Mexico see yourself but when you've been someone for so long it gets
like this and that's something I've realized him so hopefully I feel better
soon you know like I said I'm not going to be one of
these people that pretends everything is fine in the world of YouTube
becaue it's not, sometimes you know shit day sometimes you have bad days so just as
you have grumpy days and you should YouTube this is for my way of venting
that's the half of this video I don't know what's coming next to us see what
happens that good thing I will say for sure is that my hair will be gone
new hair awesome so thanks for watching me vent today and I will see you soon
I'll catch you later wink wink I'll kind of do that
I decided to get myself a metaphorical slap around the face tell myself to man
up and get a grip which I've done