*Classical Piano*
Welcome to Boson X Status: Undiscovered
I don't know- does that mean like no one's ever played- is this the first vid-am I the first one that found this? Im like Christopher Columbus!
Let's do this bitch, we got level one. Peak Energy 0%
HOLY SHIT! WOah. Left arrow, jump left
Right arrow, jump right
Ohh k well I fucked that up already.
What did I do wrong there. How do I go again?- Oh enter, ok got it
OHHH there, ok, got it. You hold the button and he fuckin' runs...he jum-AH FUCK! 0%
We're workin' our way...
*Stutters like a fucking idiot*
Workin' our way towards 1%
HOLY SHIT, what does my energy do? Do I win when I get that?
(Yes)
What, uh, happens
*Pant 1x*
*Pants 2x* *Pants 3x* *Pants 4x* *Pants a shit load more*
OhOHHohOHAHH
*Pants a fuck more*
*Sci FI swoosh Noise
OHHHHHHH
WOAH
COME ON, REALLY! Congratulatio- WAIT what does that mean, I fell off the cliff! Congratulations you died?
Did I win?
I did somethin'.
Is this going to get harder
*Breath*
I feel like it's gonna get harder
What does the red shit do
The-Ok...What does the red shit do? The red shit falls
And then you fuckin' die
What is this guy running to, is he late for a meeting? The hell's goin' on?
IS HE HAVING A BABY? HAUL ASS, BITCH, YOU'RE GOING TO MISS THE BIRTH
This game is fuckin' trippy as
(dicks)
OHHHHHHH FUCK FUCK OHHHHH OHH AHHHHH AHH
I HIT A-I HIT A FUCKIN' BRICK WALL! It was like made of obsidian.
There's no run fast button, you just get fast as shit.
When you run over the blue goobs
Which is great, until you die, and then it's not great.
I LIED, AH, I LIED, IT'S ALREADY GETTING FASTER
Never mind.
*sighs*
This fuckin'-FUCK ME-oh it's fine, never mind.
*Small gasp* Okay, so you can jump on the-FUUUUCK, I KEEP DOING THAT!
So you can jump on the reds but don't- don't, no, what? NO!
And then the reds-AGH! OH? OH, Fuck (x8)
GO GO GO, OHHHHH NOOOO!
AHHHHH COME ON YOU SON OF A BITCH
You gotta get the blue goobs as soon as possible cause the level just gets harder and harder
I think you beat it when you get 100%.
I'm probably wrong, stay tuned to find out that I'm wrong.
Hold it. Hooold to the right, and then-FUUUUCK! FUCK ME!
I WENT TO THE LEFT, YOU CANNOT JUMP 2 SPACES!
Goddamnit brain, get it through your fucking nerve endings.
It's a trickster, this game's a trickster, I'm my own worst enemy.
I'm just like fuckin' myself in every possible way.
Fuck your red SHIT! NO!
Here we go, here we go. Ohhh, we're almost at 100, allllmost at 100, it's getting fast as shit, we're in like, Mach 4.
My face is melting off, it's like *melting face noises*
I did that, I fuckin-I died cause I did the stupid thing
FUCK!
I was going to go *wet slapping noise*
Oh my god *slaps table* Why? Why would you do that? 'Cause I hate myself.
Holy shhhHIIIT
NOOOOOO
62%. OHHH, fuck fuck, fuuck, fuuuck. Oh my god, shit is getting crazy, there's red shit everywhere!
KHAAAAAAAN!!
It's a Star Trek thing.
I let go, I let go of the fuckin-I LET GO OF THE BUTTON!
Nice patches on your fuckin' jacket, idiot.
Oh there it is, there's the promised land! Ugh! Ohh give me the 100, give me the 100, OHH, COME ON!
96, YOU SON OF A BITCH! What is this fuckin' thing on the right, particle tracer? Why don't you trace your fuckin' way to the end of the level and not kill yourself, you piece of shit.
*Thinks*
That didn't make no sense.
Ohhh, I cant keep up my-FUUUCK
My particle detection is just awful. Hopefully, hopefully, I'm-I'm not held to my particle detection ratio.
Because if- if people see that, they're just going to be like, my god! This guy don't know dicks about particles!
WHAT AN IDIOT!
I didn't jump.
I didn't juMP! I didn't jump! I JUST DIED!
91%. If you don't fucking get this, I'm gonna be severely disappointed with you.
You son of a bitch.
Fucking crap. AHHHHHH NOOOOOOO NOOOOOO, GODDAMMIT, I'M GONNA FUCKING SEVER MY BRAIN STEM
WITH A GODDAMN MEAT CLEAVER!
*ACHIEVEMENT HUNTER THEME*