Has your ex been given you inconsistent behavior that's driving you a little bit crazy? Well,
in this video we're gonna be going over why you might be getting mixed messages or
hot and cold behavior from your ex, what it's all about. Are they stringing you along or is
there maybe just maybe something a little bit more complicated going on beneath the
surface? Stay tuned because that is exactly what we're going to get into in this video.
Hey there, it's Clay with modern love.life, and today we're talking about why your ex may
be giving you inconsistent or confusing or hot and cold kinds of behavior. Now,
it wouldn't be, uh, the first time I've ever heard of someone doing this and it also wouldn't be the
first time I've heard of someone jumping to the conclusion that your ex is some sort of evil,
manipulative, sadistic, you know, Machiavelli and horrible person.
Of course that is a possibility. I mean, hey, I don't know your ex, somebody has to be an evil
sadistic person. Maybe it is your ex for all I know. But the thing is, is that you probably
would know this from interacting with them and having a relationship with them. You know,
if you saw them sort of callously treat people and manipulate them and things like that during
your time together, then you know, hey, maybe that's who they are. But if they
were a genuinely decent person, a good person and all of that, just trying to do the right thing,
they're probably not going to suddenly become a horrible, uh, monster overnight. In fact,
if you look at this from an emotional standpoint, this kind of, uh, hot and cold behavior is
typically a lot more easily explainable than, uh, you know, assuming the worst about them.
Now, the truth is, is that when your ex is interacting with you, they are constantly
battling two complicated things. There's a side of them that wants to connect with you. There's a
side of them that wants to get closer to you. And then there's also a side of them that's afraid to
open up and trust. It's afraid of getting hurt because believe it or not, as much pain as this
breakup may have caused you, it's also caused your ex a lot of pain and hurt as well too, as they're
sort of going forward, uh, moving towards opening up towards you. There's a part of them that says,
Hey, don't do that. It could be, it could hurt us, it could cause us to feel pain, it could
cause us to, um, you know, get hurt again. I don't want to do that. We, we should just hold back.
We should take back everything nice that we said yesterday and we should, uh, you know, say, Hey,
you know, maybe we should just be friends. We should never get back together again. Cuz it
seems too scary, it seems too overwhelming, it seems too risky to potentially open ourselves
up to being hurt or being, you know, let down or disappointed or anything like that over again. And
so there's this back and forth that goes on within your ex. And so oftentimes this inconsistent or
hot and cold or mixed message kind of behavior is coming from this confusion that's happening
with them. Now, what exactly can you do to help get through that and what exactly can you do to
navigate through this? And more importantly, what is actually going on with them? That's what we're
gonna be talking about here in just a moment. But before we do, if you do like this video,
help a humble guy out with his YouTube channel by smashing or gently tapping that thumbs up button,
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this fine YouTube channel as well too. Uh, making sure that you hit the notification bell down below
so that you can get notified whenever we publish and upload new content on this channel. When it
comes to all of this, you have to understand that this is really just a, a balancing game of trust
for your ex. They're learning how to trust you. Again, they're learning how to trust themselves
to make the right choices. Again, they're learning how to trust the dynamic that's unfolding between
the two of you. You know, they might be opening up and getting closer towards you,
but that's also takes a lot of trust on their, on their mind and it's causing them to uh, step out
of their comfort zone and to open themselves up in a vulnerable way where potentially they
could end up getting hurt or let down by you. And sometimes that does feel scary, so they pull
it back. And so this is them learning to trust. This is them learning to open up. This is them
learning to put their faith in the connection that they have with you again. And so what we want to
do is understand that they're going through this journey as well and learn that the more that
we can open up ourselves, the more that we can volunteer more, the more that we can be vulnerable
ourselves, the more we're going to really inspire them to want to trust us more. Okay,
so I know that there's probably also an equal battle going on within you to sort of shut
down to play it safe, to not risk anything and everything else like that. You know, that's why
uh, there are all these people out there that say, Hey, you know, you want to be completely opaque.
You never want to let them know your intentions and all that. Cause it sort of plays into this
fear that a lot of people already have, which is that, Hey, I shouldn't put myself out there
cause I might risk getting disappointed or I might risk, you know, doing this or something
like that. You absolutely can put yourself out there emotionally if you do it in a genuine
and responsible sort of way, rather than, you know, just like begging and pleading and pouring
your heart out and saying, you know, I I'll never give up trying to win you back. I'll,
I'd walk over broken charts of glass for you or anything like that. You know, obviously that's
probably not the best thing to say. You don't want to express that cuz that's what we would call
bad vulnerability. That's what we'd call negative vulnerability because it places the responsibility
for your emotions in someone else's hands versus positive vulnerability, which is something where
you're able to take responsibility for your own emotional experience and also transparently,
vulnerably share that with your partner. Now that is the kind of vulnerability that
inspires more trust and inspires them to want to get closer to you and inspires them to want to
open up more to you. And that's absolutely the kind of vulnerability that you want to
express. And it's also the kind of vulnerability that's going to encourage them to open up to you,
encourage them to trust you and encourage them to, uh, risk a little bit more with you. And the
more that they're able to do that and the more that they're able to do it in a way where they
feel safe along the way and they see, hey, I opened up and nothing bad happened. Hey,
I opened up and I was received well by them. Hey, I opened up and I was, uh, you know,
welcomed and and accepted and all of that sort of stuff. The more trust that's going to build with
them and the more they're going to start to do That, that more and more and more. And when that
happens, that voice in the back of their head that says, Hey, don't open up. It could be dangerous,
it could be risky. The quieter and quieter that voice becomes and the more consistent
your ex's behavior comes, the more they start doing what they say they're gonna do. And the
more they start actually getting closer to you and the closer the two of you actually
start to come towards actually getting back together again. Now this is just part of
their emotional journey towards getting back together with you. Uh, this all fits within
what we would call the five stages that your Ex goes through in getting back together. Now,
if you haven't seen this yet or if you don't know what I'm talking about,
it would be very helpful for you to check out this video right over here where we outline your X's
five stages of getting back together. This is sort of fundamental required watching for this
YouTube channel and it's gonna be very insightful for you. So check it out and I'll see you over.