Hey everyone, welcome to Skillopedia the place to learn skills for the real world. Well you
are with me Niharika. Well what's a perfect world for you? Each person we interact would
be nice, would be kind, generous, considerate. Well they would get our jokes, we would get
theirs. We would all float in a very friendly atmosphere where no one upsets each other.
Or disturbs each other. However, we don't live in a perfect world. Some people drive
us crazy and we drive them crazy as well. So there are times when we dislike such kind
of people. So what do you do? Well we do encounter people that you would wish to avoid, right?
While you can take all the measures to avoid this person altogether, it's not always possible
to completely avoid talking to someone. What you could do is, learn some tricks in avoiding
people you don't want to interact with by kind of surrounding yourself with others.
But there are situations where you will come across such people. So how do you avoid the
people you don't like? Well what are things that you can do, let's have a look.
Well the first thing that you can do in order to avoid certain situations or avoid certain
kind of people is stay calm. if you encounter someone you dont want to talk to because this
person was rude or you two have history a history with them, maybe they treated you
really bad and they were like extremely mean to you. Well, being courteous and calm and
not letting someone's attitude towards you just spoil your relationship, well that's
quite an effective way to keep any conversation with such people short. Yes, you need to be
calm and courteous. You won't always be able to completely avoid someone you don't wanna
talk to. However you can minimize your interactions with this person by keeping a polite poker
face. You know what I do; well I always focus on myself. I always keep in mind that my goal
is to just interact with this person as quickly as possible and just end the conversation.
so instead of just you know being rude or being mean to that person because I had a
bad past, well it's not gonna help. Yeah, it's okay to be calm and courteous. This way
you could get out of that situation really easily. So learn to be polite and cut the
conversations short.
So friends, here is the second thing that you can do in order to avoid the person that
you don't wanna talk to. Well what is it? Well draw your own boundaries. Yes, you don't
always have to express what your boundaries are or what your limits are to someone you
wish to avoid. But you should know what you are willing to tolerate. Yes how much of shit
you can take. Stand your ground and stick to it. These can be both mental and physical
boundaries or limits. Well you have a right to your personal space and it's okay to be
clear about what that other personal space means to you. Yes, whether you are dealing
with a coworker or your school mate or your ex-boyfriend or your ex-girlfriend and you
just are not willing to interact with this person. I know it's difficult but don't be
afraid just be blunt. Communicate with them clearly, let them know your personal boundaries
and ask them to respect your space. Something like this let me give you an example, well
you ended your relationship with your guy and things just didn't work out between you.
So what do you do? Well it's time to let them know to respect your personal space. Be bold
and communicate. if you are not going to draw a line, the one who will, well he's gonna
take you for granted. So if someone has a history of you know invading your personal
space, the next time you encounter such kind of people, well just show it to them at the
very beginning of the conversation, because you just have certain amount of time to talk
to this person. So set your boundaries, after all it's your personal space.
Well here's the third thing that you can do. Ignore this person. Yes chances are that you
are not the only person who wishes to avoid a certain person. Pay attention to how others
deal with someone you wish to avoid. If you have tried of these upfront methods like we
discussed earlier and they haven't worked, then simply ignore this person. Ask other
people that how do you deal with this? Yes sometimes you have a relationship with someone
that just isn't going to work out. This person can be someone you were in a relationship
with or even a coworker and if you have made attempts to create that distance. You have
set your boundaries and that has also not worked. Then people it's time to ignore. Yes
now ignoring someone isn't always the easiest thing, especially if this person is really
crazy and you know doesn't listen at all. But yes you don't wanna interact with this
kind of a person. Ignoring someone doesn't mean that you know you are insulting that
person or making this mean face or a mean gesture. It just simply means that you act
as if this person is not around you. Yes act as if this person is in that crowd that you
see. Well sometimes ignoring someone means you have to be the bigger person and just
excuse yourself from that situation. So people it's okay to ignore.
So friends what's the next thing that you can do. Well avoid situations where you might
have to interact with this person. Yes do not ignore this person, just avoid this situation.
Well sometimes you have to make changes to avoid someone you don't wanna talk to. If
you know this person is going to be at a party or at gathering or at a conference, you just
don't go. Well unless you are in a situation where you can't excuse yourself like your
work or your school, then you know it's better to just avoid attending that function. Uhh...
tell a close friend that you aren't going to be attending the event and you can be honest
with your friend. You know you don't have to be rude but you can just be honest and
in case if you have no option and have to attend that party or that function, where
you will be seeing that person, well you are at a bar or at a party, you will be able to
go to another area. Yes just avoid running into that person. Yeah you can do that. Uh...
well I’m not saying that you run away from the situation. It just shows that you have
a big ego but just avoid running into that person. Even if you end up meeting at the
same place, it's okay. Yes may be you were just not able to avoid that situation but
just avoid running into that person.
So here's the next thing that you can do. Yes you can ask for help. Well there's nothing
wrong by asking help. If you really don't want to interact with someone but you're having
a very, very hard time avoiding this person, well you could also ask people to help you
out. You can get help from your friends, from your parents, from your boss, from a counselor.
If the situation is really intense, yes. If you find that you can't avoid the person because
you have to work with this individual, consider talking to someone who can really, really
help you out. Just you know calmly explain your situation. Why you can't be around this
person. Perhaps this individual makes it hard for you to complete your work, to give your
best because you are just so uncomfortable being around this person. So just you know
discuss it with an authority. Tell an authority to figure why you need to be removed from
these kind of situations where you don't wanna interact with this person. maybe they will
understand your situation better because sometimes the third person can you know, view things
better and could come out with the better solution than we can.so taking help, asking
for help, well that's a great thing to do.
So here is another thing that you can do, yes you can cut ties with this person. Now
if you are just not able to you know face this person, just end the relationship. If
you have an ex that you don't want to see or talk to anymore or someone that might be
in your larger friend group that you simply cannot face that person anymore, well just
go ahead, cut your ties. Your health and peace of mind is the most important thing for you.
Though it may be hard, tell this person that you won't engage in any sort of contact anymore.
You know sometimes it's better to be direct as that’s the only thing that they understand.
Stick to your convictions. Some people may not easily leave you alone but if you've started
you know and if you've showed that yes this is your intention, then go ahead. It’s okay
to be outright, say that you don't wanna talk or see this person again. Sometimes if you
are blunt and a little harsh, people will finally get message. You may feel mean at
first but try and remember, this is better for you. Better for your health, just cut
the last link and delete that person completely from your domain. Yes you gotta do that.
And if everything fails, well here's the thing that you can do. Keep a positive attitude.
You know sometimes you may not want to talk to certain people because they make you uncomfortable.
You just don't like being around them. Take a deep breath and tell yourself that you are
an enjoyable person to be around. You are like the best person to be around. Remind
yourself that you are entitled to your boundaries. You know right, we discussed this earlier.
But sometimes it's perfectly fine and okay to voice your feelings, to feel comfortable.
Focus on what you want and what will make you happy and then try and find people that
you know have similar attitude just like yours. Instead of avoiding negative people, focus
on the people around you who make you feel comfortable. Your thoughts contribute to your
mood and even your actions. So smile and take a moment to tell yourself that you know you
were meant to be like this. Having a positive attitude will help you to attract more positive
people and then that’s good way to say goodbye to negative ones, right?
Of course everything would be just so easier if we could just wish people to go away from
our lives, you know. But that's not how life works. Whatever be the reason, disliking someone
is a response which is not a good idea. Well it's best to be respectful. Depending on the
situation, you know you can always follow the tips that I helped you with. You can just
understand them better and that should really help you to avoid people that you would not
like to interact with. And this brings me to the end of this session today. Hope you
really enjoyed watching me and I’ll be back with a new session, till then keep watching
us and do not forget to subscribe to Skillopedia, the place to learn skills for the real world.