- Hey everyone, I'm Taylor, and welcome to Debatable,
the show where we take extremely opinionated comedians
from Twitter, and have them debate
the most polarizing topics.
Our panel of expert judges will weigh in on each argument,
and finally, declare a winner,
putting an end to years of discourse.
Today's resolve is, it is perfectly fine
to recline your seat on an airplane.
We have Mike on the affirmative.
Mike, you've got 60 seconds, starting now.
- Thank you.
Look, I'm not gonna stand up here
and say that the airlines give people
the space they need, they don't.
But that beef should not be with
the person in front of you, okay?
They're just trying to get down
to Key West to see their family.
Oh, sorry guys, Uncle Peter couldn't make it to the reunion
'cause he couldn't push his seat back two inches,
he has a blood clot.
Anybody have any AB negative?
Heard that's rare.
No, no, it's not with him, okay?
Now look, you get three things
when you book an airline ticket.
One, radiation from a security machine.
Two, the option to buy a $17 panini in the terminal.
And three, a seat on a tube that flies through the sky
with a button, that gets you in
a perfect sleep apnea position.
It's your right when you buy a ticket.
You need it, you need it.
Now look, we should say, hello fellow human being,
I'm happy to have you recline your seat.
Just allow me to finish my sloppy joe
that was heated up in 95 degree weather on the runway.
Just let me finish eating first, and thank you,
I'm out of time, but you get what I'm saying.
- Ooh, well timed.
- Okay, nice job, Mike.
Also, if you eat a sloppy joe on an airplane,
you are a sociopath.
All right, Rachel, you're up.
You are on the negative,
and you have 60 seconds starting now.
- There is no good reason
to recline your seat on an airplane.
Oh, you want to nap?
Yes, how I like to take all of my naps,
at a 130 degree angle on an unconsenting stranger's lap.
Forget napping, how do you sleep at night?
Your actions affect other people.
When you recline your seat, you are making
the person behind you choose between
either reclining their seat, or suffocating to death.
So now the person behind you has to recline their seat,
and now, what if the person behind them is a murderer?
Murderers don't investigate root causes.
They're not gonna track down the other sociopath, you,
that kicked off this seat reclining domino effect.
They're just gonna murder the innocent person directly
in front of them, who you forced into this situation.
So enjoy your 130 degree nap,
but prepare to wake up with blood on your hands.
- A very poignant response by Rachel.
I also do have to make the pun that if you are taking a nap
at a 130 degree angle, it's not acute.
All right, Mike.
Are you ready for your rebuttal?
- Yes, ready.
- You have 30 seconds, starting now.
- Okay, look, I'm not a monster, okay?
So when you recline your seat, you check with them.
You go, you do the, huh, you do a look, okay?
And that should let them know that you care about them.
Now, you mentioned murder, okay,
you said murder a couple times.
People need to stretch out, they can't be sitting like this.
We're talking about blood flow, we're talking about joints.
So if someone's stuck six hours
on a flight where they can't even move,
next thing you know, they're six feet under.
Are you a murderer?
I don't know, but it's manslaughter, probably.
- All right, you ready for your rebuttal?
- Yeah.
- 30 seconds, Rachel, starting now.
- There is no world in which lying back
at a 130 degree angle counts as stretching out.
You're gonna be miserable no matter what.
Look, we all wanna zone out on airplanes.
But that's what drugs are for.
Bring a Xanax with you.
Yes, they're a controlled substance,
but if you're the kind of person who reclines on airplanes,
you should have no problem lying
to an urgent care doctor about having a panic disorder.
- All right, let's hear what the judges have to say.
John, what do you think?
- So, I am a born seat recliner, but you know,
I'm gonna have to give this one to Rachel.
She made some really great points
that when one person does it, it creates a domino effect,
then everyone has to do it,
and we know that's not gonna be the case.
So it really does mess up the mojo of the plane,
as you were talking to, and it is slight murderous.
You can all take a pill and fall asleep,
but I think in some regards, you know,
I think you were talking about
how you if you check with the person behind you,
nobody checks with the person behind them.
And if we all just didn't do it,
then the problems wouldn't exist in the first place,
so I'm gonna give this one to Rachel.
- That's an excellent point, John.
I actually don't want anyone talking to
or looking at me when I'm on a plane, so.
- Same.
- Amber, you're up, what do we think?
- I think that you both made truly compelling arguments,
and we really all appreciate your attention to detail,
and the thought that you put into this
really difficult topic where there are no winners.
I think at the end of the day,
any argument that gets at both murder
and illicit drug use is a winner in my book,
and I think it's pretty clear to all of us up here today.
- So, your vote's going to Rachel?
- Vote goes to Rachel.
- All right, that's two votes for Rachel.
Stella, what do you think?
- I'm gonna have to give this one to Michael.
You know, the seats are there to recline.
If they didn't want you to recline those seats,
they wouldn't have put those in, so there you go.
I'm giving this one to Michael.
- Stella with the hashtag, not all manslaughter.
I do appreciate that.
All right, well, we've got two votes for Rachel,
and one vote for Mike, which means,
Rachel, you take this debate.
Congratulations, nice job.
Well, you guys heard it here.
The final decision on whether or not it is okay
to recline your seat on an airplane, it's not.
Thanks so much for joining us,
and we'll see you next time on Debatable.