Hi, how to keep my husband happy. My name is Paul Friedman I founded The Marriage
Foundation and this is my specialty. For men, how to keep your wife happy. For
women, how to keep your husband happy and I want to let you know that I used to be
a divorce mediator before I started saving marriages so I understand how
easy it is to make your husband unhappy and there's layers to this but we're
going to start with something that's very simple and that is the reason you got
married in the first place was to be happier, wasn't it?
Now, some people said, "Well, I wanted to have children. I wanted to have a companion.
I wanted to be with my soulmate," and you are with your soulmate but always behind
that is I want to be happier. I want a happy life that's why you get married.
And so then, the question becomes how and the answer is so obvious, it's ridiculous.
Now, when I shifted from my practice of divorcing people to helping marriages
with my very first couple, you know it was kind of accidental but I won't get
into that story right now, but I had to ask myself, why do people get married? And
it literally took me weeks to come up with the universal answer of to be
happier and it took me more weeks to come up with what makes people happy
universally, what always works to make someone happy? Love, and it was like duh.
If it's that simple and there's only two of you in the marriage and I call it the
sacred space of marriage because it's sacred. You're a soul, he's a soul, what's
more sacred than a soul it's a part of God and the nature of the soul is bliss
is joy, happiness without end ever-increasing happiness. So now it
starts to get more simple because my first step, what I did was
I said, "What helps bring in happiness? What is an obstacle to
happiness?" And I use the term obstacle because it's natural for the soul to be
happy so I said, "Well, why would people mess this up?" And I knew why
because we have bodies, we're residents, we're spirit, we're like angels in human
bodies that are animal type bodies. They're designed just like
animal bodies. They're not, they're specialized but they have this one
feature that causes a lot of trouble. That feature is that innate in every
living cell is the drive to survive and when you put those cells together and
they form first like little colonies of plants and then insects, and then animals,
mammals and our bodies too. They become more complex. They all work in harmony
and with this innate intelligence all driving to survive,
isn't it so? And that's what we're stuck with, we're stuck with this dilemma of we
end up serving our body instead of controlling the mind and not allowing
this drive to survive to interfere with the love.
What do I mean? What I mean is that the drive to survive gets us to behave
in ways that are not loving defensiveness. argumentative.
confrontation. watching out for our own well-being is the opposite of being
loving. And so, we're not regulating it on a moment-to-moment basis because they
don't teach us this when we're children. I had to learn much later. Introspection
watching your mind on a constant basis in making sure that the drive to survive
elements which are impacting your mind and making you do things that are
defensive and offensive, you're supposed to block those. As a soul, you still have
to take care of the body but it's not like caveman days although the instinct
is still there so now it's a more sophisticated instinctive reaction but
it's still there and it blocks the love. It's so important for us to keep our
husband happy by being the soul who he married and then your behavior can be
myriad -- it doesn't really matter. You don't have to be sexier, you don't. Now
you may want to be at times if it's a way of expressing your love but to be
sexy to make him happy is going to fail. You see, now you know
everyone talks about and everyone knows that husbands love their wives to cook
for them. Well, why is that? You know, I ask all
these questions because when I wanted to design ways of helping marriages I
wanted to get into all of this stuff that we know and some things that we
don't know and see why certain things worked.
Well, everyone knows that men prefer women who cook well -- it's just a fact.
Call it chauvinist if you want, I don't care -- it's the truth
but what is underlying that is what's important and what's underlying that is
that a man has these drives to survive too. Food, so if his wife is making sure
that he's eating well he's going to be fulfilled by that because she's now
expressing her love in a very positive way, sexy too. But believe it or not, food
more so but sex too. Men are more driven to want sex because of their procreative
drive which is tied to the drive to survive, and wives who understand that
and take that opportunity of having sex with their husbands and using I love you
much more during that act too because for a woman usually, that act of sexual
connection is a loving act and men have been trained in our society to make it
pornographic and it's not tied to the heart and men are more adapt to that
because they're not as tied to the heart as you are, but you can convert
your husband. That's going to make him very happy. I could
go on with this but I'm starting to cover too many topics so I
think I've given you something to think about. If you're having a problem in your
marriage, if that's why you're looking at these videos then write into our
counselors. They will guide you to either one of my books or to the
course but not that they're paid to do so. If you have a simple question they'll
just answer it. They're paid to be there for you. They don't get a commission or a
pat on the back if you purchase something from us
it's not what we're about, we're a non-profit foundation. So anyway, I hope
this was useful and helpful. Like it please, share it please. Leave a comment
if you have a comment. I'll respond to you and other than that blessings to you
blessings to your husband, blessings to your family.
God bless you. Take care!