STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN, BILL
GOLDBERG, RODDIE PIPER, DAVE
BAUTISTA, HULK HOGAN.
AND WHAT WOULD THE PRINCESS
BRIDE BE WITHOUT ANDRE THE
GIANT?
ANYBODY WANT A PEANUT? OH, YEAH, AND TYRUS
OH, YEAH, AND TYRUS
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] NOW,
WITHOUT WRESTLERS, AUDIENCES
WOULD BE LEFT THINKING GUYS LIKE
ROBERT DE NIRO WERE A TOUGH GUY.
OKAY.
BUT I WILL GIVE YOU THIS ONE.
JOHN CENA DID NOT COME UP WITH
THE FAMOUS CATCH PHRASE YOU
CAN’T SEE ME.
HE ACTUALLY STOLE THAT FROM
GUTFELD WHO USED THAT WHENEVER
HE WAS STANDING BEHIND A SEVEN
YEAR OLD.
BOOM BOOM.
ALL NIGHT.
BOOM BOOM.
ANYWAY, MAYBE MOVIES AIN’T YOUR
THING.
OKAY?
BUT WRESTLERS CAN ALSO WRITE.
EVER HEAR AIEST BELLING AUTHOR
NICK FOLEY OR GOOD OLD JR JIM
ROTH?
OR HOW ABOUT THE NUMBER ONE ON
AMAZON NEW YORK TIMES WALL
STREET JOURNAL BEST SELLING
AUTHOR TYRUS?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] STILL NOT
CONVINCED?
DID SOMEONE HIT YOU OVER THE
HEAD WITH A STEEL CHAIR?
OKAY.
WELL, AMERICA LOVES OLYMPIANS
AND WE’VE HAD MARK HENRY, KENT,
CURT ANGLE, AND HE WON GOLD.
OH, IT’S TRUE.
IT’S DAM TRUE.
WE’VE HAD MORE TAKEDOWNS THAN
TWITTER.
WE HAVE.
FACTUAL.
EVER SEEN A GIJOE CARTOON AS A
KID, REMEMBER SERGEANT SLATER?
OKAY, I GET IT THIS IS A NEWS
NETWORK, SO LET’S TALK POLITICS.
OKAY?
ALL RIGHT, COOL.
JESSIE THE BODY VENTURA.
HE WENT ON TO BECOME GOVERNOR OF
MINNESOTA.
AND NOW ONE OF THE FASTEST
RISING VOICES IN THE REPUBLICAN
PARTY IS A FORMER RESSLER, MAYOR
OF KNOXVILLE, YOUR FRIEND AND
MINE GLENN JACOBS AKA CHANGE.
SO WRESTLERS CAN TALK THE TALK
AND WALK THE WALK UNLIKE OUR
CURRENT PRESIDENT WHO CAN’T DO
EITHER WITHOUT A MACHINE.
MATTER OF FACT, YOU CAN’T EVEN
SAY THE AMERICAN DREAM WITHOUT
SOMEONE SAYING DUSTY RHODES.
DUSTY ALWAYS TOLD ME, TYRUS,
PAINT YOUR OWN CANVAS, AND WHEN
YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE YOU’LL KNOW
WHAT TO DO.
AND YOU OWE ME MONEY FOR ALL
THAT I’VE TAUGHT YOU.
OPEN AND SHUT LIKE DOOR RIGHT?
NO?
STILL NOT CONVINCED?
OKAY.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN OUT IN PUBLIC
AND SOMEONE YELLS WOO?
AND THE PEOPLE YELL BACK, WHAT?
WOO.
WHY?
BECAUSE EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE
THE NATURE BOY.
RIC FLAIR, NOT JOE, WHO HAS THE
SAME NICKNAME BUT FOR DIFFERENT
REASONS THAT HR WON’T LET US GET
INTO.
AND WRESTLERS, WE’RE IN MORE
HOMES THAN COUCHES.
EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE A
WRESTLER.
ACTORS, SINGERS, BOXERS,
FOOTBALL PLAYERS.
LAST WEEK KILMEADE ASKED ME TO
PUT HIM IN A HEAD LOCK.
SAID IT REMINDS HIM OF HIGH
SCHOOL.
MUHAMMAD ALI, DON KING,
PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP, THEY ALL
LEARNED HOW TO TALK TRASH FROM
WRESTLING.
THE GREAT GRILL A MONSOON COINED
THE PHRASE THE IRRESISTIBLE
FORCE MOVESS THE IMMOVABLE
OBJECT.
THAT ALSO SUMS UP GREG WHEN HE’S
CONS SPATED.
AND WHEN ATHLETES WIN A SUPER
BOWL OR CHAMPIONSHIPS, THEY ASK
FOR WHAT?
A WRESTLING CHAMPIONSHIP BELT.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] NOW, THIS
SUNDAY WHEN I BEAT TREVOR
MURDOCH FOR THE NWA WORLD HEAVY
WEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP AT THAT TIME
CHASE, I’M NOT GOING TO ASK FOR
A DAM TROPHY.
I’M GOING TO WEAR MY TROPHY.
AND I DON’T HAVE ANYMORE ROOM
FOR METAL NECKLACES.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] STILL
DON’T FEEL ME?
OKAY, OKAY.
I DIDN’T WANT TO GO THERE, BUT
HERE WE GO.
THE SECOND MOST TALKED ABOUT
PRESIDENT OF ALL TIME THAT FREED
THE SLAVES, SAVED THE UNION, ABE
THE HATCHET LINCOLN RING A BELL?
AT 6’4" 220 POUNDS HE WAS HUGE
FOR THE 1860s.
SO WRESTLERS ARE THE VERY FABRIC
OF OUR COUNTRY AND IT’S NO
WONDER TYRUS IS HOSTING THE
NUMBER ONE SHOW.
WHAT YA GONNA DO BROTHER OR
WOMAN ON PERSON OR -- WE AIN’T
GOT TIME FOR ALL THAT.
THE NEXT TIME A WRESTLER WALKS
BY YOU SAY THANK YOU.
STILL WANT TO TEAR YOUR SHIRT
OFF AND DISAGREE?
I SAID OLD ABE WAS THE SECOND
MOST TALKED ABOUT PRESIDENT OF
ALL TIME BECAUSE THE GREATEST
WRESTLER TO BECOME PRESIDENT,
WHO ELSE? PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP
PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Tyrus: AND, MAN, CAN HE CUT A
PROMO JUST LIKE A WRESTLER.
HE’S A VILLAIN, HE’S A GOOD GUY.
LOVE HIM OR HATE HIM, GUESS
WHAT?
YOU STILL WATCH HIM.
AND YOU SEE, THAT’S THE STORY OF
WRESTLING.
IT’S THE SAME WITH THE STORY OF
AMERICA.
INDIVIDUAL THAT BEATS THE ODDS,
TENACIOUS, GRITTY, WHEN ITY AND
STRONG.
WITH ALL THOSE TRAITS THERE’S NO
GOAL YOU CAN’T REACH, EVEN IF
YOU’RE AS SHORT AS GREG.
I TOLD YOU, ALL NIGHT.
WHO KNOWS, THERE COULD BE A
THIRD WRESTLING PRESIDENT.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE].
>> NUF SAID
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Tyrus: LET’S WELCOME
TONIGHT’S GUESTS.
SHE’S THE FLORIDA PHENOM ACTIVE
IN THE NAVY RESERVES AND YOU
WILL GET SERVED, MORGAN THE
OCTOPUS ORTAGUS.
REPRESENTING THE GREAT OUTDOORS,
THE ARIZONA ASSASSIN, NATURE
GIRL KATIE PAVLICH.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Tyrus: FROM PARTS UNKNOWN,
WEIGHT UNKNOWN, HIS REASONS FOR
BEING HERE UNKNOWN, COMEDIAN JOE
DeVITO
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Tyrus: AND LIKE AN INK
CARTRIDGE, SHE’S SMALL, COLORFUL
AND HARD TO REPLACE, KAT THE
SMITTEN KITTEN TIMPF.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Tyrus: OR CATHERINE C TIMPF
>> Kat: CATHERINE C SNOOIFRP
INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALISTS ON THE
TYRUS POD CASTS.
A LOT OF PLUGS
>> Kat: YEAH.
>> Tyrus: KAT, I KNOW FROM LAST
MID WHEN I WOULD SEND YOU IDEAS
ABOUT MY MONOLOGUE, YOU DID NOT
KNOW THAT ABRAHAM LINCOLN WAS IN
FACT A WRESTLER
>> Kat: I DID NOT KNOW THAT SO I
WAS LIKE HOW MUCH DO I NOT KNOW
ABOUT WRESTLING.
SO I GOOGLED A LOT ABOUT
WRESTLING.
>> Tyrus: OH, BOY
>> Kat: IT’S THE OLDEST SPORT
EVER SO IT’S LIKE OLDER THAN
JESUS, THAT’S A BIG DEAL.
AND THERE WAS A GUY NAMED BAREY
HAR 0HORROR WITNESSES HAD A SEVE
YEAR LOSING STREAK.
I THOUGHT THAT WAS RELATABLE
BECAUSE I HAD ONE IN DATING.
AND SNOOKY WON MORE PPE WWE
MATCHES THAN STING.
LIKE WHAT CAN SNOOKY NOT DO.
I CAN GO ON FOR A REALLY LONG
TIME BUT I WON’T.
LIKE THERE’S -- I JUST THOUGHT
IT WAS PEOPLE THROWING CHAIRS.
I APOLOGIZE.
>> Tyrus: AND BRET BAIER WILL
NOT HAVE YOU ON
>> Kat: I KNOW.
I COULD DO A SPECIAL WRESTLING
REPORT
>> Tyrus: ALL RIGHT ASSASSIN.
YOU AND I WOULD HAVE A SMALL
FEUD, LAST TIME I WAS ON THE
FEUD I MADE FUN OF YOUR CART
BEGAN.
>> I DID NOT.
I ACTUALLY CALLED IT SWEATER
MATERIAL CARDIGAN WHICH IS TRUE.
>> Tyrus: OKAY.
SO WERE YOU SHOCKED OR SURPRISED
TO HEAR THAT, PRESIDENT TRUMP
WAS IN FACT A WRESTLER?
>> I WAS SHOCKED AND SURPRISED
ABOUT THAT.
I USED TO THINK THEY WERE VERY
SHORT AND STOUT AND THEN I MET
YOU AND MY MIND WAS BLOWN.
BUT ONE OF MY FAVORITE SHOP
TEACHERS IN HIGH SCHOOL WAS FOR
WELDING, I ALSO KNOW HOW TO WELD
IN ADDITION TO BEING AN ASSASSIN
WAS A WRESTLING COACH AND HE DID
THROW A DESK ACROSS THE ROOM
ONCE AND THEN WE DIDN’T SEE HIM
AGAIN.
>> Tyrus: YEAH, I DON’T THINK IT
HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH
WRESTLING, PROBABLY HAD TO DO
WITH PEACHERS PAY.
>> Katie: SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
>> Tyrus: MR. PARTS UNKNOWN, YOU
KNOW A LITTLE BIT ABOUT
EVERYTHING, I WAS INTRIGUED, DO
YOU ALWAYS WANT TO BE FROM
UNKNOWN.
>> Joe: DON’T HAVE A CHOICE WHEN
YOU’RE FROM PARTS UNKNOWN.
>> Tyrus: NO TAXES THERE EITHER.
>> Joe: THIS IS SO STRANGE.
I NEVER THOUGHT THERE WOULD BE A
GUEST HOST WHO WOULD CHOKE ME IN
THE GREEN ROOM.
>> Tyrus: SORRY ABOUT THAT.
>> Joe: IT ACTUALLY WAS LAST
NIGHT WHEN KAT WAS HOSTING.
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Tyrus: HER PREGAME WARM UP IS
ROUGH.
>> Joe: BRUTAL.
>> Tyrus: I ACTUALLY HID IN THE
HAIR AND DRESSING ROOM WHILE SHE
WAS WARMING UP, BECAUSE, YOU
KNOW, MY REP WOULD HAVE BEEN
GONE IN SECONDS IF SHE CHOKE
SLAMMED ME PEOPLE WOULD HAVE
STARTED PICKING ON ME.
ALL RIGHT OCTOPUS, YOU’VE SERVED
AND BEEN IN CLOSE QUARTERS WITH
ME.
HOW MUCH INFLUENCE HAS WRESTLING
BEEN IN YOUR LIFE IF AT ALL.
>> Morgan: EVERYONE KNOWS FROM
MY NATIONAL SECURITY BEAT THAT
I’M SUCH A BIG WRESTLING FAN.
>> Tyrus: I’M SENSING SARCASM.
>> Morgan: NOT REALLY.
I REMEMBER IN HIGH SCHOOL THE
BOYS THAT WRESTLED, THEY ALL HAD
LIKE RINGWORM AND I THOUGHT IT
WAS REALLY GROSS.
THAT’S WHAT I REMEMBER IN HIGH
SCHOOL.
SFLIET.
>> Tyrus: THANK YOU.
>> Morgan: HERE’S THE OTHER
THING, MY BEEF WITH MODERN
WRESTLING.
DOES JOHN CENA COUNT AS A MODERN
TODAY WRESTLER?
BECAUSE HE CA PITCH LATEED TO
THE CHINESE COMMUNIST PARTY AND
APOLOGIZED IN CHINESE FOR
TALKING, FOR ACKNOWLEDGING HONG
KONG AND TAIWAN.
SO THIS IS HOW I RELATE TO
WRESTLING, BY TALKING ABOUT
CHINA.
>> Tyrus: THAT IS A STRONG
ARGUMENT.
MY QUESTION TO YOU THE IS, DO
YOU OWN AN APPLE PHONE?
>> Morgan: YES.
>> Tyrus: SHUT UP.
JOHN CENA IS A SAINT.
>> Morgan: OH, ARE YOU BUDDIES
WITH HIM?
>> Tyrus: AM I BUDDIES WITH HIM?
IYEAH?
>> Tyrus: NO, AFTER HE SHADE
STUFF?
NO, HE WAS A GOOD GUY
>> Kat: WHAT ABOUT BARRY
HOROWITZ.
>> Tyrus: NO HE WAS A LEGEND AND
DID LOSE FOR SEVEN YEARS.
>> Morgan: IS HE JEWISH?