>>> It's a boy!
Aah!
>> What do we do with a boy?
>> I have no idea!
>> Really cute.
That's country singer Janet
Cramer and her husband Michael.
They're in a good place right
now.
Through the years, they faced
their obstacles in the
relationship which they talk
about openly.
>> They join us now with their
therapist Leslie to discuss how
to rebuild a relationship and
how to move forward.
Right?
Good to see you guys.
>> Everybody goes through
something.
So I'm glad you're talking about
it.
How did you meet Leslie?
What was the first thing to be
discussed?
>> We actually met doing our
podcast and we've been open on
the podcast, obviously, about
our troubles and we had the
pleasure of meeting Leslie.
She was one of our guests
because she has an intimacy box
she does so it's all about
connecting couples together
through, again, like everyone
has probables but just being
able to connect couples and so
she's been a godsend for that.
>> Just to bring it back to what
the issues were, when you were
pregnant with your first, you
found out that Mike was
cheating.
Right?
It's of course been a hard,
difficult time but you stuck
together.
You're working through it.
What was it that kept you there,
Janet?
>> Therapy.
>> Yes.
>> Honestly, I tell him this,
too.
As much as I hated him I loved
him so much and I believe that
if he could do the work and that
if I could do the work that we
could keep our family together
because we had a baby at the
time.
Little baby girl.
>> Yeah.
>> I really wanted the fight for
our family but I saw him want to
fight, too.
That was important for me to
see.
>> A lot of people called in the
podcast or e-mailed in and
asking her what was that one
moment?
What we have explained is for
both of us it was never one
particular moment which is the
a-ha I'll stay.
It was a consistent process,
even now.
To see the work in each other
and make sure we're growing
separately and together is a
constant effort.
>> We want everybody to learn
from this.
Let's bring in Leslie here.
How can you improve your
intimacy?
You give us steps.
Number one, be two willing
partners which they were.
>> Yes.
You're heing that with the two
of them.
This is a hard road.
I think it's an opportunity on
the flip side because not every
couple gets into a hardship and
has the opportunity to really
get deeper and really bond and
really work it through and these
two have and it's such an
incredible inspiration for other
couples because it's possible
when two people step up and
surrender and they try and do
the hard work of working through
the hard feelings together and
staying together through it
until they can trust again.
>> I guess one of the things you
say is to be willing to be
vulnerable with each other.
I know with you, it's been hard
getting that intimacy back and I
think, Leslie, you helped with
the intimacy box and you have
said when Mike doesn't want to
have sex with you --
>> A trigger.
>> Why don't you want to have
sex with me?
>> There's a ton of triggers.
Again, that's -- I have to do my
work on my side and then he's
doing work to figure out where
that comes from and --
>> Yeah.
That's unfortunate part of our
story is because of the issues
we have had is because of my
intimacy issues now triggers her
more because of our past.
You know?
So that's something I have
struggled with in relationships
is connecting, love and sex and
all that together.
It never clicked for me.
That's how I was.
>> Sex for you was what?
What was sex?
I mean, for you -- you went to a
sex addiction rehab.
Right?
>> Yeah.
For me, it was I never
correlated the two.
That's the way -- in any
relationship for whatever
reason, in my life, that's how
things worked in my brain.
I didn't correlate love and sex
and now to do that, I told her I
want to be willing to do those
things and something about my
body, I get anxious,
uncomfortable.
I don't want to feel that way
and for me personally I'm
willing to dive in and work with
Leslie and whoever to overcome
>> What about preparing yourself
for sharing the story?
Right?
We hear this -- like, the I've
been cheated on story from women
a lot.
Right?
Or even I have cheated story
from women a lot.
But we never really hear from
the guy who's still in the
relationship.
How did you prepare yourself
for, okay, we're going to be
open and honest about them and I
take a lot of heat, I'm sure.
>> Yeah, yeah.
It some time especially
initially.
There's a lot of shame in it.
They don't want anybody to know.
That's how I was with Jana.
Stop.
Don't tell anybody.
Let's keep this tight and things
came out.
"Us weekly" cover and I couldn't
control much of that.
After a while, after the first
year, we came to a place where
it is like I can't -- I have to
own it.
I can't hide from this anymore.
I did what I did.
This is the only way to go
forward.
That's when we started to grow
is, there's no secrets.
We are not hiding from anybody
or each other.
Put it all out there and she's
slowly been showing me Instagram
direct messages, people saying
how much us being so open helped
because --
>> With the podcast.
>> And everything.
So that's given me motivation to
continue to be open about it
because originally I was like,
how will we help people?
>> I said people want to know
that you can -- if you -- two
people work together they can do
it.
>> Yes.
>> That's the great thing where
two people truly work.
We can show people that have
hope and not just -- it's so
easy to get divorced.
I have been divorced before.
So easy.
To just run from the problems
and that's what I have always
done.
I want to sit in the middle and
stuff flying at me and work
through our problems.
>> Guys --
>> There's so much to talk
about.
>> So much.
Leslie, we need more therapy
here, too.
We -- hold on.
We'll bring you guys back.
We need more with you guys.
But yes.
But you're so brave for telling
your story.
Really appreciate that.
Check out their podcast.
>> Good luck with the baby boy!
>> Yeah!
>> Three weeks away.
>> Three weeks!