[music]
Sorry if I'm saying this wrong, but Ausoul from Sydney asks,
"Ausssoullll a miaaaaa" that person asks,
Wait, have you ever been to a jimjilbang or public baths?
That's always hilarious from a Western perspective. Can you talk about that?
Well Ausoul, to answer your question, yes I have been to a public bath
while I on the other hand, Ausoul, have not.
Now there are a couple of reasons why I didn't go,
I remember when I used to go to a gym in Korea when I was in
the change room and they had the public bath there,
I was very uncomfortable because I would notice very many times
while guys were changing they would blow dry their crotch.
No joke, they would spray perfume and start blow drying their crotch.
Wouldn't that burn? I don't know, but I never want to perfumagate my crotch…
Perfumagate…from all those ants in your pants…oh no…anyhow…
I found it a little weird and I didn't want to participate in public nakedness ever
again, and also another thing I really can't stand hot air, I really need to breathe
cold air at all times, so steam rooms just don't do it for me. Yeah I'm sure
that wasn't the main reason, it was the perfumagated crotches right?
Of course. If everyone is walking around sprtizing their crotch than yes,
I'd be a little put off. Really? Yes. Maybe it was just the gym I went to…
it was the crotch spritzing gym. I bet you the sign in Korean said,
"For special perfume crouching, apply here." Spuritzu-coruthcee"
Anyways, enough about Simon's bizarre experience which I'm sure doesn't happen
to anyone else. It does happen, message me, you know what I'm talking about.
Actually there is a small difference between jjimjilbang and moggyoktang,
so when you go to one of the buildings moggyoktang is the public bath area,
so that would be only for women and only for men but the jjimjilbang area
would be the area where you could meet up with someone, so I'd go downstairs
and Simon would be in his orange top and orange shorts, and I'd have my pink and
pink. I'm sure you've seen this in a lot of Korean dramas, actually. I really like
moggyotangs a lot, and I think I'm comfortable with being totally nakers
with my Korean friend--"Nakers, origin: simonandmartina, the clinical term for being
naked. For example, "close the door, I'm namers."--because I played a lot of sports
when I was living in Canada, so I think I'm just comfortable changing infront of other
girls, but I know that some people are not comfortable and they're worried that
they're going to get stared at, and totally honestly--ahh foreigner--no that doesn't
happen--they're Russian--that especially doesn't happen. The worse that happens
is someone will glance at you and be like, oh you've got tattoos, or oh, your skin
gets quite pink when it's warm…I turn into a lobster!!! I'm serious…I know.
People we like, you're so pink, and I said, No I'm not, I'm…*gasp* pink.
So I remember my first experience in seeing a jjimjilbang, it was actually in
Boys Before Flowers. Right, Martina actually made we watch that same episode
in which Goo Jun Pyo has never experienced it before--this thing right here--
what I like to call the Death Star, and the scrub the blue jebus off of his back
and he was screaming the entire time, and Martina actually did that to me as well.
It was wonderful!!! Sure I was really really smooth afterwards but my skin felt raw
and I had a whole bunch of black, puddling skin at the bottom --EWWWWW-- of my
feet…it was really gross, but I felt really smooth. So smooth and sexy…oh you so
sexy…I'm getting carried away…scrubbing…just keep on scrubbing--
So before I actually tortured Simon with that, I learned how to properly do it from my
Korean friend Athena. So we went to a moggyoktang together and she's like,
"I really want to scrub your back for you" which, number 1, is really cool 'cause it
means that we're really close. (YAAAAAAA!) and number 2 I was like, "You know
what, nothing is going to come off my back, I'm so young, my skin is so smooth,
I exfoliate in the shower, I'm good." But boy was I wrong. She started scrubbing my
back and you don't do this crazy flailing movement, you do this kindof up and down,
and you move all over the place. Number 1, it hurt a lot, it was like burning fire, and
Number 2, all this white and black skin starts rolling off your back-- what a great
way to bond with your friend-- it was wonderful!!! This is greatest day ever!!!
So she scrubbed my whole back for me, and she did my shoulders, and my arms
and my legs, and I was like a super newborn baby. I was also pink. Very pink.
Like a lobster. And I cried a lot. And I frew (-->frew = slang for threw) food up on my
shirt. *laughs* That part didn't happen…
because I wasn't wearing a shirt TRICK QUESTION!
But okay, be aware of some death traps when you go to a moggyoktang.
Number 1, my friend tricked me hardcore, she's like, "Oh Martina, go underneath
that shower and pull the string and it will be like a light smattering of rain on your face."
So I went underneath it and I pulled the string down and it was a MOSTER SPRAY
FROM NIAGRA FALLS, which flattened me to the ground…it was so horrible.
Meanwhile, all these older women are like, whateves, and they go underneath it and\
pull it down, it's like, "BUUUUUUUUUUUU" and they're like, "I'm cool."
I was so super foreign at that point. It's 'cause you're softy…you're weak. Like a baby.
And I was pink…
Death trap number 2. There are different steam rooms, and I'm used to having just
one steam room, but there are different levels of extreme steam. EXTREME STEAM!!!
THE CHALLENGE!!! BUILT BY MAN!!! Made for women…and men…SOMETIMES!!!!
Except not for Simon…NOT MEEEEEE!!!!!
Anyways, there is the normal one and then there is the, I wanna be a little steamed
dumpling and die, so try to avoid that room, and also there are different hot tubs
and there are levels of heat in the hot tubs, it's so cool, there's a green tea hot tub,
a super hot one, and then there is the, I wanna be in a stew. So that one I'm pretty much
a big baby act, meanwhile, once again, all these little grannies and older women are
like, "MMM that's toasty" and Martina's like, "AHHHH!" and runs out screaming. Cause
I'm pink. This video could really go on forever, my advice is that if you come to Korea
just check it out, just go, GET NAKERS WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND SCRUB EACH
OTHER'S BACKS! UGHH!!!! So we can't really make a video for this because I
think it would be kindof awkward --yeahh- if we walk in there with our equipment
and our video camera..hey guise what's going on? Ugghh….
So that's it for this weeks TL;DR (Too Long;Didn't Read) If there is a question you
want us to answer for next week's TL;DR leave your question on the google moderator
page. Or you can check out the questions already asked and you can vote them up or
vote them down. I hope you liked that Ausoul. *laughs* OH NO! A-U-S-O-U-L.
Ausoul. AUS-SOUL. *GONG*