Tell me I'm lying.
If youth pastoring, the way it's done today, worked, we wouldn't have 3 out of 4 Christian
teenagers leaving the church by the time that they leave home.
According to Barna, 70-75% of Christian teenagers are no longer going to church once they hit
college.
Why is that?
Maybe it's because they way youth pastoring is done is not only ineffective, it's dangerous.
(Music plays)
Hey everyone, I''m Rachel and today on Crack Your Bible, I'm doing a special
episode because last night Saddleback Church, Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life, was
in the news because one of their youth ministry volunteers was arrested for sexual conduct
with two 14 year old boys.
Now this is Ruben Meulenberg.
He has a brother named Efraim Meulenberg.
They write books about like, "How to explode your youth ministry."
And it's like "uh okay, so is grooming kids to have sex with them part of your plan to
explode your kids' ministry?"
Like pedophiles, stop!
Why is it that youth pastors and youth ministry today is not only ineffective and ridiculous,
but it's full of pedophiles?
And I will say this, I think there's a huge reason for it and you might not like the answer.
And one of the big reasons is people want to dress down for church.
Now before you're like... "errrrr!
That's not the reason that people are pedophiles" No, here's the deal.
You have these youth pastors and I've been to churches, I've applied for youth pastoring
jobs and it usually goes to the guy who wants to look like a kid, like, "Oh, he's just another
one of the bros.
He's going to go do hoop with the boys."
Like... no you're a youth pastor.
Like, you need to carry yourself in a different way.
You're not there to be the kid's friend - you're there to be a teacher and a mentor.
And what I see at youth ministries is like... these guys, and you'll see it in this guy's
mug shot.
They dress like teenage boys.
And you don't need to be emulating a teenager to be an effective leader for a teenager.
Parents don't do well when they are their kids' best friend.
Those are usually the bad parents - the ones that are like, "oh hey kids, do you need anything?
Like condoms, drugs, booze?"
Like... no.
Your kid's going to end up dead, in jail or pregnant with parents like that.
And you see that with the youth ministry, when you have these like, "cool, hip youth
pastors" what happens?
Kids leave the church because it's stupid.
It's ineffective.
Like, it's just babysitting and one of the problems is you have these guys who come in
and they emulate teenagers.
"Hey kids, look at me on Snapchat.
Why don't you add me?
Like... look at my Snap Story!"
Like... "uhhhhh what?"
They dress like kids, they talk like kids and it's not appropriate.
So you have these guys who are dressed up like kids, they hang out with kids and nobody
is keeping an eye on the to make sure that they're not grooming kids.
Which is what has happened at Saddleback Church.
If you saw a guy dressed in a suit or a woman that's dressed up nice, professionally and
she's hanging out with your kid, or she is Snapchatting you kid, you'd be like, "uhhh
who is this person?"
If you saw an adult man who wants to hang out with your kid at a skate park outside
of church hours, you'd be like... "who is this guy?
Like kids, don't talk to him, let's keep an eye out on him."
So it makes people put their guard down because I'm sorry, a lot of parents are super aloof.
And they, they just see "ah, young person!"
And sorry, when you're dressed like you're going to a skate park, a lot of parents aren't
going to recognize that you're a 32 year old adult.
I'm 29 years old.
I have an 11 year old and a 13 year old sibling.
So it's like... you can obviously see that we're different in age.
And this guy is older than me and he's grooming 14 year olds, which is around the age of my
siblings.
And it's just like, how did nobody catch this?
It's just people get too comfortable and there has been this blurring of lines where it's
like, you're not the adult anymore, you're just one of the kids.
You're just hanging out bro.
It's just stupid.
Parents need to demand their youth ministers act like adults.
That they dress like adults.
Because you see an adult, who is dressed like an adult, hanging out with your kid, or you
see them on social media, you're going to be like, "uhhh what is going on?
Who is this person?"
But when they're dressed like a teenager and they act like a teenager and they talk like
a teenager, you might not realize that the person that your kid is talking to is an adult
who is dangerous.
And there needs to be that separation.
One of the big problems that I see in youth ministry today is that they feel like youth
ministers need to be a big kid so that kids will like them or relate to them and that's
not what needed.
You need to be a mentor, you need to be a teacher, you need to provide guidance.
You're there to teach kids.
You're not there to be their friend.
And you know, if you go on my web site, in the photo section, I have a picture of me
during my high school graduation.
i don't have a picture of me at my college graduation, because who cares?
But, at my high school graduation, I have a picture of me and my favorite teacher.
And he was my economics teacher for 3 years in high school.
And he made a huge impact on my life because not only was he a great teacher, but he was
super serious.
Like he was on point.
Like he expected a lot out of us and nobody could get away with anything with him.
But everybody loved him because he provided guidance and rules and structure and that's
what teenagers need.
And he talked to us like we were adults.
It was a two way street with respect.
He wore suits to school.
We had to do the pledge of allegiance in class.
He always called us by "Mr." or "Miss" and then our last names.
So I didn't even know some of my classmates' names because I only knew them as "Miss whatever."
So I was "Miss Stephens."
And because there was structure and there was respect and there were clear boundaries,
people learned.
Everybody loved this teacher even though he was super strict.
He wasn't like the loser teachers that are dressed in a hoodie, like, "hey kids, what
are you doing this weekend?"
It's like, "Uhhhh don't want to talk to you.
You have kids and a wife. Bye!"
So, you know, I don't think it is necessary for these youth pastors to act like one of
the kids.
And honestly I would prefer that they don't.
Because I want to be able to pick out who is appropriate and who is not.
If I can't figure out who is the teacher and who is just like a larger high schooler kid,
because you can't tell these days.
Makeup with the girls and the boys - some of them look like they're 4, some of them
look like they're 44...
You just can't tell.
And I think that there needs to be a certain protocol and I think that when it comes to
church, you can dress up for a job interview, you can dress up for a date, you can dress
up for a night out at the club.
If you have a $600 iPhone, you can dress up for Jesus.
So it doesn't have to be expensive, but you can go down to TJ Maxx, TK Maxx, whatever,
get a $5 clearance button down shirt, wear it.
And it's like you're showing respect and you're also more likely to be pinpointed by parents
who are going to recognize that is an authority figure.
They're going to keep their eye out on you when they see that you're hanging out with
their kid outside of normal church hours.
So you know one of the big things I almost forgot to talk about is that if churches were
talking about sin, we wouldn't be having these problems.
If they were talking about homosexuality is wrong or sex outside of a marriage is wrong
and it's not just like, "Hey kids, let's talk about Taylor Swift" - a youth pastor, i swear
this actually happened.
I sat through it.
You wouldn't have these issues.
You wouldn't have pedophiles in the church because kids would recognize, "hey, this is
wrong."
When you say "everything is right, love everything, discern nothing, don't judge anything," this
is how you get pedophiles grooming kids because kids don't recognize the signs.
And they don't want to be judgmental.
They don't want to hurt anybody's feelings.
They don't want to be unloving.
So they get taken advantage of.
And if you aren't going to teach your kids about sin and you're not going to talk to
them about proper behavior, you are setting them up to be abused.
Shame on you!
You have the responsibility to take care of your kids by teaching them right and wrong.
And if your church isn't teaching your kids right from wrong, if they're not talking about
tough issues like morality.
If they're not talking about tough issues like why we can trust the Bible, don't have
your kids in that youth group because all you're going to get is kids that leave the
church or kids that are abused.
So, anyway, something that I wanted to think about.
Tell me below in the comments what do you think is the problem with youth pastors today
and you know, why is it that there are so many pedophiles?
So (sigh) it's a bad thing you guys.
But I will see on Monday.
Bye.
(Music plays.)