whenever i would look in the mirror i
never thought
i had an ideal body throughout my 20s i
always thought something in my body
needed to be changed
i constantly thought i was too fat or
too skinny after extreme exercising and
dieting
i came to realize that the problem was
my mind
not my body hi guys this is haley today
i decided to share my journey
of obsessing my body as a zone i have
learned through
many different experiences i have been
in to
gain more weight and appear less skinny
and also
i have done extreme dieting to lose
weight since i live in two different
countries
korea and the uk i was able to see
myself through different perceptions
according to the standards of the
specific countries
and today i'm going to share all of my
journey from
early 20 to late 20 now
by only 20 hours ago who constantly
called
too skinny most people would probably
think that being skinny
naturally is a good thing however always
being told
you should eat more are you eating well
you should gain more weight
for over 20 years it was a not positive
experience for me
as i hated being told these comments i
thought to
push myself to eat more even though i
tried to gain weight by eating more
my body naturally doesn't upset that
amount of food
so i would end up just having digest
problem
or feeling sick this got to a point
where i started to prioritize how much i
ate
rather than how healthy food was
i was just constantly trying to gain
more weight by eating more than
i used to and the worst part was i never
had any problem with my body image i
only started to do this because
people start to comment on my body like
that
so it was way before social media came
out so i think for me it was people
around me
to make me feel like my body is
something
need to be changed my mid-20s i moved to
the uk
and i met people from all different
countries
at language institution i attended there
i met a girl
who called me too skinny and she even
used her pinky
to depict my weight i was shocked
because
it was obvious she was doing this to
make fun of me
while in korea the comments on my weight
or my body
were more out of concern but
it was not concerned being surrounded by
people from different countries i
noticed that my body was
completely smaller than other girls
which made me feel like my body was
represented as
weak or frail just like the girl
described
after that i start to look for more
intense ways to gain weight
than previously i done because i feel
bad that the girls
around me look fit and tall in my
university
my closest friend even described me as
small
because compared to my british friend i
tend to look the smallest
although i didn't like my body was
perceived as skinny in korea
in the uk the gravity of feeling was
heightened
i also really didn't like to be
described as
small skinny weak girl
so i decided to go to gym to overcome my
weakness of body image
and to try to look less skinny and more
toned
and i was also obsessed with those
instagram
body goal so my ideal body image was big
but
strong tone arms and those like abs as i
never learned how to work out properly
i just thought to simply follow youtube
tutorials
and then when i put weight i didn't know
how much
i should put on or what was the best
workout for my body
so i ended up putting too much weight on
my body and
having like knee pain so it was not
healthy way to work out but
i kind of like how my body has changed
because my
body looks so much healthier and i look
more toned after graduate i went back to
korea
and since we all had to stay at home
during this pandemic
i gained weight and
i couldn't go to the gym so i didn't
like how my
body looked like at the time once the
lockdown had eased
i register for personal training
and went on a diet properly my goal was
to lose weight
and gain more muscle this was my first
time i would actually
learn how to work out properly and go on
the right diet with the health of a
trainer
at the beginning it was so hard but i
slowly got used to it
i felt so fresh and much healthier which
in turn positively impacted my mental
health as the trainer jobbies helped me
to lose weight
she started to point out the fat of my
thighs
and belly so going to the gym make me
feel insecure
with my body image again so i stopped
feeling enough
by doing extreme dieting for over two
months
i could see my body shape was changing
and it was affecting the cycle of my
period
my period would be delayed and it would
be much shorter than usual
and also i realized that i was not
properly nourished
so i did not feel well sometimes and
then i quit
all that extreme dieting and also
working out
so now i'm in my late 20s and i have
finally learned how to stay healthy
physically and mentally although i
started to working out
to just look like other girls who look
more fit
and toned i could see more positive
results from not only my body
and my mental health through all these
experiences
i learned lessons to love my body and
upset my body
and the first lesson i learned is
knowing that there is no such thing
as ideal body image by living in two
different countries
where the ideal body is different no one
kind of
global ideal body no matter how much i
try to change to
fit in one country's beauty standard it
might change
if i move to other countries therefore
my effort to
try to assimilate to the expectation of
one country
is fruitless for this reason i decided
to focus on my natural body shape and
think about how
i could improve rather than change it
and second lesson
i learned is switching my mentality from
i
have to dietary exercise to i
get to exercise and diet
what i realized is once i thought is to
say or
think that i had to diet i found myself
looking for
more junk food and craving those
unhealthy snacks because
i have prohibited myself from eating it
instead i don't put that pressure on
myself anymore thinking that
i had to diet or i
shouldn't eat this food then i would be
more inclined to eat healthy meals as
well as
to exercise and the last lesson i
learned
and tips to set my body is choose to
wear
clothes or underwear that make me feel
good
and comfortable this is something that
has given me
the positive result and hardest one to
change from inside especially
bra when i was young i was obsessed with
those bra
that makes my breasts look bigger and
better looking
however i found that in the long term it
gave me
digestive problems and i felt so
uncomfortable throughout the day
i got to a point that only thing i
wanted to do
was go back to home and take up my bra i
think this feeling would be
pretty relatable for everyone so i
decided to slowly not
wearing that kind of bra and when i
first not wearing those bra
i was so insecure about my breast
size and looking but it was obvious that
i felt so comfortable throughout the day
but one thing i realized is that people
don't actually
care whether i'm wearing bra or not or
whether i'm wearing
wireless bra or anything like push-up
bra
or anything like that because nobody
commented on my breasts
so with wearing comfortable or
not wearing any bra i could eat more
comfortably
and treat people in a nicer way now i
can't go back to those
like push-up wire bras anymore and this
whole experience has given me the
courage and confidence to just
obsess my natural body shape as well as
my
breasts so i think this is really good
experience
and lesson for me to be comfortable so
not only wear
bra when i wear t-shirts or just clothes
that shows my
shape body shape clearly and the bra i'm
currently obsessed with
and have been wearing for over two
months is this
berry zero by a brand called meanwhile
which is today's sponsor since they sent
me this bra
i've been wearing this almost every
single day the fabric is so
soft and buttery what i love about this
brand is that
they celebrate all chef woman's body and
they also
have this beautiful campaign called
nobody
is nobody which shares the perspectives
of real women
on their bodies their beauty and their
struggles with society's beauty
standards which
i truly support and stand for
their products align with their messages
not only underwear but also
loungewear makes your body feel
comfortable and look good
i love supporting this kind of brand
empowering woman
and respect all women so if you are
interested in trying these
very zero bra for yourself i will put
the link in the description
box and you can also get 20
off from your first order using my code
hailey so this is my story and tips
about how i have come to my body in a
natural way
i hope you guys find this very helpful
now i go to the gym at least three times
a week
and try to eat more healthy food i don't
see this as something i had to do
but i would rather choose to do this so
i'm
much more in healthier and happier place
compared to when i started to working
out just to look like others
let me know if you have any struggles or
if you used to have this kind of
struggle
about your body image and how you
overcame i would love to know about that
thank you so much for watching stay safe
eat well
and i will see in the next one bye
[Music]
you