>>>
>>> WELCOME BACK EVERYBODY. I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY PARENTS
REALLY LOVE HAVING THE TALK
WITH THEIR KIDS BUT HONEST AND
CLEAR INFORMATION ABOUT SEXUAL
HEALTH IS KEY TO HELPING OUR
KIDS MAKE HEALTHY DECISIONS AS
THEY GET OLDER.
SEX EDUCATION EXPERT AMY LANG
OF THE BIRDS AND BEES AND KIDS
WEBSITE JOINS ME NOW.
HOW ARE YOU?
>> I AND GOOD.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU. >> THIS IS ONE OF THE THINGS
THAT WE USED TO TALK ABOUT
WHERE YOUR KIDS RELATED ON YOU
I WANT TIME AND IT WAS SUPER
AWKWARD.
AWKWARD.
AWKWARD. WHAT ARE THE CONTOURS OF THE
WAY YOU LIKE TO APPROACH THIS
TOPIC.
TOPIC.
TOPIC. >>> THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU
JUST TALKED ABOUT.
>>> SHORT AND SWEET
CONVERSATIONS THROUGHOUT EARLY
CHILDHOOD.
CHILDHOOD. ALL THE WAY INTO TEENAGER DUMB
AND I THINK ONE OF THE THINGS
MOST PARENTS DON'T KNOW IS WE
HAVE THE MOST INFLUENCE OVER
OUR KIDS SEXUAL DECISION-MAKING
UNTIL THERE ARE ABOUT 14 AND
THEN THEIR PEERS TAKE OVER AS
WELL.
WELL.
WELL. >>
WELL. >> I KNOW I GOT LOTS OF
INFORMATION FROM MY PEERS.
>> AWAIT ASSAULT THE
INFORMATION IN OVER THE COURSE
OF THEIR CHILD PUT.
AND YOU HAVE A FLYER AND I LOVE
THIS BECAUSE IT IDENTIFIES
DIFFERENT MYTHS WE MIGHT THINK
ABOUT AND WHAT IS THAT YOUR
SWEET CHILD IS TOO LONG YOUNG
TO LEARN ABOUT SIX AND IT
DOESN'T MEAN YOU WILL TALK TO
THEM IN A KNOWLEDGE AGE-
APPROPRIATE WAY BUT THERE ARE
THINGS WE CAN START DOING WHEN
THEY ARE FAIRLY LITTLE.
>>> THE VERY FIRST SEX TALK IS
USING THE CORRECT NAMES FOR THE
PRIVATE BODY PARTS AND WITH
BABIES AND KIDS ARE REALLY
LITTLE ARE NOT GOING TO KNOW
THAT YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE OR
FEELING WEIRD ABOUT USING THOSE
NAMES AND THEY WILL GROW UP
KNOWING THAT THAT IS WHAT THEIR
PRIVATES ARE CALLED.
AND IT IS PROTECTIVE FROM
SOCIAL ABUSE WHEN KIDS KNOW
THAT PICKED UP THE USING SLANG
AND THEY DON'T SAY DON'T TOUCH
MY PIANIST AND THAT TELL
SOMEONE KIDS ARE BEING SECS
EDUCATED AND THEN BY THE TIME
AND THIS WILL BE HARD FOR SOME
PARENTS TO HEAR.
BUT BY THE TIME THEY ARE SIX OR
SEVEN THEY REALLY NEED TO KNOW
HOW BABIES ARE MADE.
>> THEY WILL ASK WHERE THEY
CAME FROM.
CAME FROM. >> OR THEY WON'T ASK AND THEY
WILL HEAR ON THE PLAYGROUND AND
THE WAY OUR CULTURE IS NOW.
LITTLE KIDS ARE GETTING EXPOSED
TO ALL KINDS OF GROWN-UP
INFORMATION ABOUT SEX AND IT IS
SAFER FOR THEM TO HEAR FROM
YOU.
YOU.
YOU. THEY
YOU. THEY WILL SEE YOU AS THE
RESOURCE AND FOR MOST OF US,
LIKE YOU SAID IF WE HAD A SEX
TALK WITH OUR PARENTS IT WAS A
LONG DRAWN OUT EVENT AND
MODERATELY TRAUMATIZING FOR
EVERYONE.
EVERYONE.
EVERYONE. >>> AND THIS ALSO KIND OF GETS
TO THE POINT THAT YOU HAVE
TOUCHED ON BUT I THINK IT IS
IMPORTANT TO MAKE YOURSELF
AVAILABLE TO YOUR KID TO BE
ABLE TO SAY AND IF YOU HAVE
OTHER QUESTIONS.
OTHER QUESTIONS. >>> COME TALK TO ME.
I WILL ALWAYS TELL YOU THE
CORRECT INFORMATION.
CORRECT INFORMATION. A NUMBER TWO WHATEVER WAS GOOD
ENOUGH FOR YOU IS GOOD ENOUGH
FOR YOUR KID.
>>> WE ARE DONE WITH THAT.
MOST OF US KNOW THAT IT WASN'T
GOOD ENOUGH AND I THINK ONE OF
THE WAYS PARENTS CAN REALLY
THINK ABOUT THIS IS WHAT DID
YOU WANT TO KNOW.
WHAT WOULD'VE BEEN HELPFUL FOR
YOU TO KNOW AND IF WE START
THERE WITH OUR OWN EXPERIENCE
THEN THAT HELPS US MOVE FORWARD
WITH OUR KIDS BECAUSE NONE OF
US WANT OUR KIDS TO GET AN STI
OR TO GET PREGNANT AND MANY OF
US WANT OUR KIDS TO WAIT UNTIL
THEIR LATE 20s BEFORE THEY HAVE
SEX.
SEX.
SEX. OF
SEX. OF ANY SORT.
>> LEAST WE CAN TALK AND BE
OPEN.
OPEN.
OPEN. >>>
OPEN. >>> MYTH NUMBER THREE WHEN THEY
ARE READY TO NOTE YOUR KID WILL
ASK.
ASK.
ASK. >>>
ASK. >>> THAT IS NOT A REALLY A
THING.
THING.
THING. IF
THING. IF YOU'RE LUCKY YOUR KID WILL
ASK BUT MOST KIDS DON'T ASK.
THE THINK THEY ALREADY KNOW.
THEY HAVE HEARD IT SOMEPLACE
ELSE.
ELSE.
ELSE. THEY'RE GETTING A VIBE FROM
THEIR PARENT THAT WE JUST DON'T
TALK ABOUT THIS AND IT'S NOT
SAFE TO TALK ABOUT AND WHEN WE
OPEN THE CONVERSATION, WE ARE
PROVIDING INFORMATION THAN THEY
SEE US AS KNOWLEDGEABLE AND WE
REALLY ARE KNOWLEDGEABLE AND
THEY SEE US AS OPEN AND ASKED
COUPLE.
COUPLE.
COUPLE. BUT IF YOU WAIT FOR YOUR KID TO
ASK THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE THEY
ARE NEVER GOING TO ASK AND I
BELIEVE AS A MOM THAT MY JOB IS
TO HELP MY CHILD GROW UP TO BE
A WHOLE HEALTHY HAPPY ADULT AND
IF YOU THINK ABOUT SEX AND
SEXUALITY AND RELATIONSHIPS IS
A HUGE PART OF OUR ADULT LIVES
AND OUR KID AND TEENAGE LIVES.
>>> TELL ME WHAT WE MAYBE
SHOULDN'T DO WITH WORDS AND
PHRASES WE MAY NOT WANT TO USE
OR JUST THE DEMEANOR THAT WE
USE WHEN WE TALK ABOUT THESE
THINGS.
THINGS.
THINGS. >> REALLY HAVE TO PRETEND TO BE
CALM.
CALM.
CALM. AND
CALM. AND I'M A BIG FAN OF FAKE IT
UNTIL YOU MAKE IT.
THAT IS THE FIRST THING.
YOU NEED TO JUST ACT, HOLD YOUR
BODY IN A WAY LIKE THIS IS NO
BIG DEAL.
BIG DEAL.
BIG DEAL. JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW AND
ONE OF THE THINGS ABOUT TALKING
TO YOUNGER KIDS IS THAT WHEN
YOU SAY HATE THIS IS THE USUAL
WAY A BABY IS MADE AND THIS IS
HOW WATER IS MADE.
IT IS ALL THE SAME VALUE TO
THEM AND THAT IS THE FIRST
THING I THINK THAT IS HELPFUL
TO PARENTS AND FOCUSING ON THE
VALUES FIRST.
VALUES FIRST. LIKE WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE ABOUT
THESE DIFFERENT THINGS.
WHEN DO YOU THINK IS OKAY FOR
SOMEONE TO BECOME SEXUALLY
ACTIVE.
ACTIVE.
ACTIVE. WHAT IS A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
LOOK LIKE.
LOOK LIKE. THAT IS SOMETHING THAT REALLY
KIND OF SUITS US BECAUSE I
THINK THAT IS THE FOUNDATION OF
OUR CONVERSATIONS AND THE OTHER
THING IS WE TALKED ABOUT THIS
AT THE TOP.
IT IS OKAY TO SAY I AM TOTALLY
UNCOMFORTABLE.
UNCOMFORTABLE. I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DO THIS
BUT IT IS SUPER IMPORTANT FOR
YOUR HEALTH AND WELFARE IN YOUR
LIFE SO HERE WE GO.
>>> SO DIVE IN AND DISCUSS AND
GET ON WITH IT.
>>> OBVIOUSLY SHARING YOUR
VALUES IS SOMETHING EVERY
FAMILY WANTS TO DO.
IS THERE A WAY TO AVOID
NEGATIVE FEELINGS ABOUT SEX. OR
TOO MUCH OF A NEGATIVE TILT
ABOUT THIS?
ABOUT THIS? >> I LOVE THIS QUESTION AND I
THINK THAT WHAT WE GOT WHAT WE
HAVE TO DO IS REMEMBER THAT
IDEALLY SECS IS A POSITIVE
WONDERFUL FUN PART OF LIFE.
IF WE REMEMBER THAT WE WERE
TALKING TO OUR KIDS AND WE SAY
THAT HEY THIS IS A REALLY
AMAZING WONDERFUL FUN PART OF
LIFE THAT IS FOR LATER IN LIFE.
IT IS NOT FOR KIDS AND WE TALK
ABOUT HAVING SEX AND CONSENT IN
A WAY THAT FEELS GOOD AND
POSITIVE.
POSITIVE.
POSITIVE. IT IS OKAY TO SAY NO AND WE
WANT YOU TO SAY NO AND WHEN
YOU'RE READY YOU WILL KNOW AND
WE WILL HELP YOU KNOW AND HANG
IN THERE LAKE ANNETTE SEX
POSITIVE SPACE WHICH IS THAT
SOMETIMES PEOPLE THINK LIKE
SWINGING FROM THE RAFTERS AND
TYING SOMEONE UP.
THAT IS NOT WHAT WE MEAN.
>> THAT IS ALSO SO IMPORTANT TO
GET THE CONSENT PIECE IN THERE
AS WELL.
AS WELL.
AS WELL. THAT SEEMS LIKE A WONDERFUL WAY
TO