(00:00): Today we're talking about
the magic of detachment from outcome and how this can actually make you incredibly magnetic
and get people to chase you wanting to be in a relationship with you, wanting to commit to you,
and wanting to have some sort of romantic connection with you. This is incredibly powerful,
often overlooked in place of, you know, cheap tactics and gimmicks and things like that,
mind games. Uh, but this is so much more powerful than any of those things. And I think if you
really get this, it's, it's going to potentially be a huge game changer for you. Let's go ahead and
get into this video. (00:34):
Hey there, it's Clay with modern love.life, and today we are of course talking about the magic
of emotional detachment when it comes to, uh, love and romantic relationships. I wanna make
it clear right up front that detachment is not, uh, being emotionally numb or dead or anything
like that. I know there are, you know, for some reason people that want to be emotionally dead
where they feel nothing. That's the thing though. Like, you can't just selectively turn off and on
certain emotions, right? It's, it's either all or nothing, right? You know, you might
not want to feel something like, I don't know, rejection or something. And so you, you go to,
to turn off that emotion, but, oops, I turned off all of them as well. Now I can't feel joy now. I
can't feel love now. I can't feel compassion now. I can't feel the magic of life now.
(01:20): I can't feel,
um, the sublime anymore. Is it really a trade off you're willing to make? Uh, for me? No,
Hopefully not for you either. Cuz you know, emotionally, heart centered people are the
people I'm making these videos for. I just wanted to make that clear that detachment is not being
emotionally dead, numb, robotic. I hope that you want your life to be more than just some sort of
gray robotic ritual with no meaning. So what do I mean by emotional detachment? I mean by detaching
yourself from attachment to outcome. Letting go of attachment to outcome. Um, and that is,
that's, that's, that's the huge thing in all of this. Letting go of attachment to outcome isn't
taking on this like, I couldn't care less one way or the other. I feel nothing. I have no emotions.
Like, no, that's, that's not what it's about. (02:12):
It's about knowing that you're going to be okay no matter what happens. And knowing that whether it
goes your way or whether it doesn't go your way, you're gonna be okay. And that is the huge secret
of attachment, of, of detachment from outcome. Now, why is this so powerful and attractive? And
how can you actually get this to your advantage to help you to set you up to have a great, strong,
amazing, um, you know, love life and relationship life? This is incredibly attractive, uh, for, for
people because when you are attached to outcome, you have a certain sort of energy about you that
repels a lot of people, right? They're, they, they can sense that you have this sort of needy,
clingy energy. And, you know, again, a lot of people have put effort into studying how to not
make it seem like they're needy or clingy. (03:02):
And I think they're kind of approaching this backwards. You know, obviously the way to not
come across as needy or clingy is to not be needy or clingy. But, uh, a lot of people miss that and
they just go for like, Okay, well, what would a non needy person do? Well, they would, uh, you
know, take a little bit longer to, to respond or they would, uh, play hard to get, or they would,
you know, make it seem like they're dating a million pe other people or something like that.
It's the same logic that says, Okay, if I wanted to be a world class athlete, well, what would,
um, you know, a world class athlete do? Well, they would, they would, uh, you know, make sure
they had the right sneakers and all of this sort of stuff, right? But just because I buy the right
sneakers doesn't mean I'm gonna be breaking any world records for, you know, the mile or anything
like that anytime soon. (03:48):
So it's not about just getting the right things or it's not about just doing the things that
someone else would do. You have to be in the right emotional place and the right emotional places to
say, okay, being detached from outcome, um, being detached from outcome is incredibly attractive
because you don't have that needy energy. You don't have it with you. Um, of course you could
try to memorize a bunch of tactics and strategies and all of that, but again, as I've said many
times on this channel, life will surprise you with unpredictable, uh, circumstances and situations
and things, and those will reveal your real emotional place as they say, uh, you don't
know who's swimming naked until the tide goes out and the tide will inevitably go out. What happens
when you run outta clever lines? What happens when you run out of pre-scripted strategies that some,
you know, reverse psychology, mind game playing guru told you about?
(04:45): That's when you get found out to be truly
attached to outcome, truly needy, truly desperate, truly validation seeking and all of that. But
you don't have to do that because when you let go of attachment to outcome, you release that
needy clingy energy, and now suddenly people can see you as the genuine person that you are.
And, uh, they also can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that they as well don't have to walk on
eggshells around you and that they can actually be themselves around you. And this is incredibly
attractive because it's really an incredibly welcoming, um, energy. And this will brings us
onto our second point here, uh, at least in why, uh, being detached from outcome is so attractive.
Um, and that second point is that now you have the capacity to accept someone as they are.
You have the capacity to accept them as they are, and they get this, they understand this, they feel
this, even if it's not verbally spoken. (05:45):
And because of that, they know that they can show up to you anyway, happy, sad, frustrated,
in love with you, hating your guts and all of that, and it's gonna be okay with you. You sure
you may not like, it may not be the optimal thing for you, but you know that you're gonna be okay
and you can handle it when you're attached to outcome, you can't handle it. You're attached
to this idea that they, that they like you, that they love you, that they want to be in
a relationship with you and anything else, any problems that they bring up, any concerns that
they bring up, any, uh, challenges or anything like that, those are things that shut you down.
Those are things that cause you to become maybe defensive, maybe scared, maybe withdrawn, maybe,
um, you know, like you'll have to overcompensate for them or something like that.
(06:30): And those
send a clear message that, hey, it's not okay to be you. I'm a brittle, rigid,
fragile person and you can't handle, um, and, and I can't handle you being honest with me. And
that's not a very attractive thing. By the way, if you like this video, please make sure you hit
the thumbs up button for the YouTube algorithm. Um, it does send a clear message to YouTube that,
hey, these videos are okay, and that YouTube might wanna, you know, spread 'em out a little bit more
to other people that might find them useful. Also, please make sure you hit the subscribe
button down there, uh, as well too, so that you can get notified when we upload new videos and
make sure you hit the notification bell. And also just, you know, help me out with Malo self-esteem
by dropping a nice comment down below, letting me know that you do appreciate these videos.
(07:16): Um, all of these things,
uh, might help me with my self-esteem, Uh, but if nothing else, they will help me out with the
YouTube algorithm. So please help me out with all of that. Anyway, um, the next thing that's,
that's really important to to in all of this is that when you are detached from outcome,
there's no mind games. You don't have to play mind games, you don't have to put up with someone
else's mind games. Um, they know that you're not playing mind games and, uh, they quickly go past
them. Now, of course, they might test you a little bit because, you know, there's a lot of people
out there that want to make it seem like they're detached from outcome. They want to make it seem
like they're, you know, uh, alo and disinterested and have other options and all of that,
but really they're just, you know, trying to use some reverse psychology or something on you.
(08:06): And, you know, that's, that's pretty,
I think well established in the whole dating world and all that. And so someone might test you a
little bit, uh, just to sort of see where you're at, but if you can demonstrate to them that like,
hey, again, the test might be, uh, one of those moments where the tide goes out, right? You can
memorize like, Oh yeah, what do I do if they test or whatever. But, um, you never know what's gonna
happen. Sometimes tests just show up in ways that, that you can't ever imagine or prepare for. If you
respond to a test by either calling it out, Is this a test or do you really want to know? Um,
I don't know. I'm trying to imagine some questions someone might ask, or do you really wanna know if
I'm just trying to sleep with you? (08:46):
Or if you just respond by being detached from outcome and responding from that energetic place,
then they're gonna catch on pretty quick that, uh, this isn't just some act that you're putting on
and that you genuinely are detached from outcome. And when this happens, that's when they drop
the games. And you can also drop the games too, because why would you play mind games? You'd only
play mind games if you were attached to outcome. If you were detached from outcome, there'd be no
reason to play mind games because if, uh, if they didn't perceive you the right way,
Okay, well, I guess that's it then, right? Oh, that's fine. I'll be okay. I'll eventually track
the right partner for me. Maybe it's not you, maybe it's you, but the time's not right. That's
okay, I get it. Let's just, uh, let's just, uh, take a break, go our separate ways and,
uh, you know, be at peace. (09:36):
I wish you well when that happens. Like, you don't have to play mind games, they don't have to play
mind games. And both of you can, going into the next thing here, just be transparent with one
another. Transparency is incredibly sexy. It's incredibly attractive. Now, as we talked about
it in a, in the last video, there is a belief that like, hey, you have to be mysterious and all that.
And you know, you can be mysterious, that's fine, but you should never be mysterious about your own
personality and who you are, right? If someone can't figure out who you are, what you stand for,
what, what your intentions are, they are going to think that you're creepy. Okay? They're going
to think that you are creepy af it's fine. Be mysterious about where you're going on
your date. Be mysterious about, um, you know, uh, some flirty thing that you're talking about.
(10:27): Be mysterious about, uh,
some gift that you're gonna give or something like that. That's okay, that's cool, that's fine. But
if they aren't sure if you're a serial killer or a genuine person who's, uh, trying to, you know,
get a date with them, they're not, that's not the kind of mysterious that you want, okay? That's
seriously not the kind of mysterious . You should be very transparent about your personality,
about your energy and all of that. Again, it's okay if you're having a little flirty game about
like, Oh, hey, what are we gonna do if we go to this place? Oh, I don't know. Uh, you could get
a little bit too hot and heavy. I don't know. Can you handle that? Maybe, I don't know. Like that,
that kind of mysterious is okay, that's fun. That's called flirting. But if it's like, uh,
something else where they just don't know who you are and, uh, what your intentions are,
that's scary. (11:23):
And the other reason that, um, being detached from outcome is incredibly attractive is that it's,
it's, it's, it's a huge self-esteem kind of thing as well too. People who have high self-esteem
are detached from outcome because they're not looking for external validation. They're
not looking for someone to pat them on the head and say, Oh yeah, you're okay. You're, you're a
good boy, you're a good girl. Whatever. They, they know their own value. They know that if they align
themselves with love, the love will inevitably find them. Maybe it's not with you, Maybe it's not
with the next person, maybe it's not with a third person, but they know that it's going to happen.
And they know that if they align themselves with the right things, they're going to draw
the right things to them. They're going to repel the wrong things from them, and that's okay.
(12:13): You know, you don't have to win
over every player. You don't have to win over a narcissist. You don't have to win over, uh, people
that are just trying to use you or manipulate you, right? Tho, tho those are people that you
know might not be the right fit for you. I mean, I don't know what your values are and what you're
going for. Like, if you just want, if you want, like intentionally want those kinds of people in
your life, or if you're okay with the consequences of that, then hey, that's fine. But you know,
I'm just assuming that most people watching this want a great, solid, committed relationship that
could be, you know, the one that lasts your entire life, narcissists and players, and, uh,
you know, stuff like that as not high on the list of contenders. Let's, let's put it that way.
(12:53): Um, so when you have self-esteem,
you have certain standards for yourself and for what you allow into your life, and that's
incredibly attractive because it gives you the power to walk away from situations that aren't
right for you. It gives you the power to say, Hey, there's something more than trying to get everyone
to like me. There's something more than trying to, you know, get an attractive woman to go out on a
date with me. There's something more than trying to, you know, get someone to marry me. And I can
say that, uh, that, that if this situation isn't right, if it's not the right person, if it's not
the right situation, then I don't have to opt into it. I don't have to agree to it. I don't
have to chase it down. I can say, Hey, I'm, I know what I'm worth. I know I'm trying to,
to to, to get a loving relationship. (13:50):
I know that I'm not a perfect person, but nobody is. And I know that if I just try my best and try
to do the right thing that I'll eventually end up with, um, you know, the right kind of person in my
life. And if, if, if you're not the right kind of person, that's okay. You do, you, you do the
player thing, you do the narcissist thing, you do the blame game thing, You do the, you know,
whatever thing you do, the projection thing. I'm just not interested in that. I want someone who's
gonna drop the BS and have an adult relationship. And if that's you, all right, let's do it. If it's
not you, all right? Get outta the way you find your, your next, you know, narcissist victim
for you to do that with. I'm not interested in playing that game. Um, and so that can be a really
powerful thing when it comes to detachment from outcome. Again, we've talked about this detachment
from outcome is not being dead emotionally or anything like that, but it's, it's really about
knowing that you're gonna be okay no matter what. Congratulations, you made it the end of the video.
Thank you so much for sticking around this long. I wanna give you a thumbs up for making it to
(14:50): The end of end of the video.
I appreciate that. Please go ahead and drop a comment down below letting me know that you did
make it to the end of the video. Um, and with that being said, please feel free to check out this
video playlist over here on how to automatically attract, um, love into your life by working on
your way of being, by working on detachment from outcome, by working on all of this emotional
stuff. It's the next thing that you should check out, and I'll see you over there. Take care.