- Bubba J, we've come to what I think is your favorite part
of the show.
Can I introduce it?
Go ahead.
Okay.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the part of the show
where you get to hear what I think about stuff
after I've had a few, which is like all the time.
(audience laughing)
Yep.
This is called Bubba J's drinking and thinking.
(Bubba J gurgling)
Oh, there you go.
Oh, there's a music, romantic and kind of soft and sexy.
(audience laughing)
(soft music continuing)
(audience laughing)
Can you look into my eyes?
Yeah, I know it's not easy
'cause one eye goes this way and the other eye goes that way
and you're looking into you going, what the hell?
Which one do I look at?
(audience laughing)
Okay, that's the wrong one.
(audience laughing)
Just start.
Okay, (throat clearing) here we go.
I think that installing a smoke detector
in my chimney was a bad idea.
(audience laughing)
Sometimes I get so drunk that I can't remember how to set
my alarm clock, so I just turn on my microwave
for eight hours.
(audience laughing)
From now on, no more prostate exams unless it's by someone
who actually works in the medical field.
(audience laughing)
Whoever named them Rocky Mountain oysters had
a lot of balls.
(audience laughing)
I get comfort in the fact knowing that those dedicated folks
who spend their entire lives exercising and eating healthy
all the time are still going to die.
(audience laughing)
I love Walmart because I can buy naval jelly,
petroleum jelly, K-Y jelly, and grape jelly
all in the same damn place.
But be careful because only one of those can be used
on toast.
(audience laughing)
But grape jelly can be used on damn near everything.
(audience laughing)
Oh yeah, boom chicka wow wow.
(audience cheering)
Why do they call it the lazy eye
when it's the one doin' all the lookin' around?
(Bubba J vocalizing and giggling)
At least if a guy runs outta clean underwear,
he can still wear a sock.
(audience laughing)
It's my only wiener joke, I swear to God.
Okay.
(audience laughing)
One bite of the protein bar and you'll realize
you'd rather be fat.
(audience laughing)
Today I went to a restaurant and had the LGTQ plus;
lettuce, bacon, guacamole, tomato,
Quarter Pounder plus fries.
(audience cheering)
But I do not want the secret sauce.
(audience laughing)
Artificial intelligence is what guys get
when they stare at fake boobs.
(audience laughing)
If the king of beers is Bud does not mean
the queen of beers is Busch?
(audience laughing)
And now you're wondering why the hell didn't
I think of that?
And that's another installment
of Bubba J's drinking and thinking.
(audience cheering)
Say good night, Bubba J.
Thanks, DC.
There you go.
(audience cheering)